Boo.

I'm not even going to apologize.

What kind of person calls herself a writer and doesn't update her blog for 4 months?

Me, that's who.

This fall & winter, I've sacrificed some writing time to hang out with real people. And as tough a tradeoff as that occasionally is, it's always worth it. Real life has to trump e-life, you know? And I've still been writing, just not here. I even wrote a couple of bloggy blurbs that I never posted. Maybe I'll still post them.

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be about me apologizing for my impromptu hiatus.

If you haven't noticed (or you're on google reader), I've changed the title/design of this site. Here's why.

When spelling my name out for people, I've gotten into a habit of saying "Juliette-- with two T's and an E. It's less tragic that way." People tend to chuckle, and they don't forget how to spell my name either.

But lately, the more I think about it, the more I want to intentionally live that life. I want to stay married to Todd for a lifetime. I want to have the courage to share the truth of the Gospel with boldness. I want to make time to embrace people and their messiness. I want to have and adopt sweet babies, teach them about Jesus and pray that they grow up into brave, compassionate people. I want to write stories that emphasize redemption and healing. I want to be known for the things I did differently. I want to maintain a higher standard and not apologize for it.

I want to live a life less tragic.

So that's what this year is about. Maybe I'll find time to write about it on this blog.

But if I don't, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. For once.

Cubical Musings

So, following in the footsteps of the lovely Annie Parsons, I am currently working in an office as a Temptress. These are some of the idle thoughts that momentarily take me away from my daily to-do list...

• When I wear heels at work, I use the long open aisle in the warehouse to practice my runway walk/posture. It helps that there's also a huge metal fan at the end of the "runway" waiting to give you model hair just before you walk back into the office.
  
• one of our sales guys is named Joe Fabian. He lives in Reno. I think his name makes him sound like a New York City landlord and when he calls the office, it makes me want New York Style pizza.
• The names of two of our major clients, no lie: French-Gerleman (which I always say in my head with a degrading, fake, male Austrian accent) and Carlton-Bates (which just makes me want to dance).
• My boss's boss's last name is Ripper. Oddly enough I dont' think it's very scary because it reminds me of Jesse & The Rippers.
• Ex-Pirate Band Kids- One of my co-workers totally has the Mr. Davis smile. Hilarious.
• How do people end up with last names like Trout and Fish?
• Speaking of last names... another guy I work with has the last name "DuBuque". Which is supposed to be pronounced "Doob-yook" But every single time I look at it (or him) I say "Doo-boo-qway-qway" (in my head). This is why.
• I spend a lot of time electronically recording our receipt of metal parts. These parts have huge long alphanumeric item numbers. Sometimes the item numbers look like horrible, scary Polish or Welsh words (i.e. KQG2H07N02S). I find myself still trying to pronounce these things as words.
• Checking in orders is more exciting if I pretend I'm checking in droids and engine parts for starpilots and smugglers.
• I like my green pen the best.
• I feel like working at the Arch made me become a mild germophobe out of boredom. I used to clean things with bleach wipes daily just to pass the time (and also because there were upwards of 6000 people walking through there daily in the summertime). Now it's just me at my desk and I'm still using hand sanitizer and wiping things down with Clorox wipes.
• My boss looks like a slightly older Donna from "That 70's Show".
• Good penmanship is invaluable.
• Penmanship is such a great word too. I think it connotates someone with fabulous, ornate handwriting, scrawing their name with a giant, feathery pen. Possibly wearing a powdered wig or large pirate-type hat.
• I hate when I go to use the office IM system and I've left CAPS lock on and IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M SHOUTING OR BEING HATEFUL even if I'm just asking WHERE ARE THE PAPERCLIPS?
• Another last name: Pottorf. I can't ever spell it right. And I think it sounds like a name for a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger villain.
• I don't know what in the world would come out of my mouth when I answered the phone if the company name wasn't plastered in front of me. It's like I forget every time the phone rings. That'll change with time, I hope.
• Todd and I have been re/watching Season 2 of Chuck. The other day, Sarah, the girl who trained me, made a phone call that started like this: "Hi Chuck, this is Sarah over at ControlTech..." I couldn't stop grinning.
• I'm really glad office computer screens don't have talking screens like at the self-checkout at the grocery store. Could you imagine if your computer spoke every button you clicked?
• I seriously adore post-it notes.
• Every time I get one of those crazy invoice numbers with "QB" somewhere in it, I think about Matt Sarazen. And every time I get one with "PYC" or "PY3" somewhere in it, I sing "PYT".

More to come, I'm sure...

That whole job thing...

The past two weeks, have been filled with madness. Todd and Gotham and I have all been sick and had our schedules rearranged and turned upside down. There are so many new, wonderful things happening, it's been impossible to chronicle. But I'll try and give you a brief synopsis.

About the job:

Three weeks ago, I signed with a staffing agency (read: temp service). On the very same day that I signed up to start looking for work with them, I got a call to interview for a job I'd applied for independently. The position was a part-time gig with a local non-profit children's theater company. Two days after the phone interview, I went on a live one and love it. The company is wonderful and I adore everything they're doing in the community.

A week after my interview at Metro Theatre Company (MTC), they asked me to go on an assignment: go to a performance/residency and do interviews and write a story. Brilliant. I was pumped. But, because the program was a new program at a new school, everything got a little flaky and they had to push back my assignment date from last Thursday to this past Tuesday. I was fine with it, because 2 days before the assignment, Todd and I got a horrible stomach virus that sidelined us from life for 2 days. I was happy to have more recoup time because I wanted to be awesome for my assignment.

So, on the very same day that MTC calls and postpones my assignment, the temp service calls and asks me to go on an interview for an admin job with a manufacturing company that makes big electronic panels for large mechanical equipment. Mmmhmm.

I had no interest. But I didn't want to seem ungrateful, and it's always good to have interview experience. So I said I'd go.

So, with a bad/utterly apathetic attitude, I dressed up and went. When I got there, they had me take a spelling and grammar test for 30 minutes. I did really well on it, which they were super jazzed about, since apparently everyone else they interviewed can't spell? The interview was fine, and the women who interviewed me were nice. The admin position is 8-4:30, Monday-Friday, with hourly pay 4 bucks more than I was making. They told me it was a temp gig-- but that honestly, they desperately wanted someone to come on full time. They said it would be hourly as long as the temp agency demanded, but that assuming I liked the place, they wanted to hire me on full time and put me on salary ASAP.

At that point, I started to feel torn. Everyone knows I'd been utterly willing to take the financial hit for the fun, artsy job versus selling out for the money and the consistency. I asked for the weekend to consider the offer. I wanted to run it by some friends and family to see if anyone would tell me I shouldn't take the job.

But the more I deliberated, the more I realized that the interview and the job itself was a gift from God. Just one day before my interview, my student loan payments went up by $200/month. With the rush season ending @ the Arch and hours getting cut, I was looking at having to take on another side hustle to stay up on payments. By taking this job, the financial issue is solved-- and if I were to go on salary at the beginning of the year? It would really help us out in our goal to be debt free (apart from school loans) in one year.

So... I took the job. :) I put in my 2 weeks at the Arch and started the new gig last Monday. I have a desk and a window (yay!!!) I do payroll and emails about engineering equipment. I answer the phone and make copies. I find myself more tempted than usual to consume copious amount of candy. And I have a 25ish minute commute, which is interesting since we only have one car at the moment. But it's working so far.

I'm actually really enjoying it and love working in an office with grown ups and relatively no drama.

So that's the deal with the new job... speaking of, I'd better get to bed so I'm not late tomorrow!

Dear Sixteen...

(jumpin on the bandwagon with a letter to my sixteen year old self... enjoy.)

-----

Hi Julie,

Let's be real about this. I know what you want to know. Yes, you get married, okay? But-- it's not to Nick. He's going to marry a cute Mexican girl. Yes, I'm serious. Breathe. You'll be fine.

I know that's the only thing you really want to know about, but all you actually need to know regarding this subject is that your super hot and hilarious future husband does exist and he is exactly everything that you want AND need. Oh and he's currently playing football in a tiny little town. That's all you get. Don't be mad, I wouldn't ruin this surprise for the world :)

So, I've only got one shot at this-- fortunately, I don't have many regrets to advise you about, so let's get practical, shall we?

First and foremost-- Student loan money is not fake money. They WILL make you pay it back. And you won't have it. So you need to apply for scholarships. I'm serious. Don't be a slacker. You need to submit roughly 100 essays before you enter college in two years. Do it now so you can enjoy going on dates with your husband with all the money you saved. Also, after college? When they send you all those letters about paying on your interest during a grace period? Don't throw those away because they say "This is not a bill" on them!!! PAY THEM! Get a server gig at a restaurant, save up some money and pay on it. Please? You will be so happy you did.

Other things that will help you out...

Love your hair. Take care of it. And buy a 1 inch flat iron. A 2 inch one will not make the process go faster.

Call Mudear on a regular basis. Rig up a tape recorder before you leave for college and ask her to tell you about her life. Record it. Then write it all out.

I'd tell you stop before you get to the Bailey's and coffee when you go to the cocktail party at Jared's house-- but you'll do it at some point anyway, and I'd rather you deal with that situation there, surrounded by friends, than somewhere else.

Any time you leave to go to school or any time a boy leaves YOU to move out of state, even if it's just temporary-- you need to break up with him and move on. I doubt you'll listen to me on this-- but you should. And don't waste time thinking that you'll get back together with anyone you break up with, because it will only happen once. And then it still won't work. But don't sweat it! Your man is making his way to you and he's all the best pieces combined into one body. He is worth every bit of the wait. Okay that's it! No more boy stuff!

If you mess up and do something dumb that hurts a friend-- 1) don't KEEP doing it and 2) don't wait 3 months to fess up.

Try out for a freaking musical at school. Just suck it up and do it, you'll really be missing out if you don't.

Look at the dock number when you get out of the little speed boat in Venice. Make an effort to remember how to get back there.

And my most important thing... keep writing... keep on and keep on and keep on-- and when you come home for a visit from college, save yourself a Blue Christmas. ALWAYS unload your car the moment you get into town. I'm not playin. Empty it all out. The fish too. But especially the DVD/journal box. Do not forget this. Empty the car!

I don't have much else to advise you about, kiddo. I won't save you from everything. You need a few good heartaches, it'll make you a better writer. But don't worry about anything. Trust the Jesus who your Mom and Dad taught you to love. He has some amazing stuff mapped out for you and He will NOT let you down. Talk to Him regularly about everything, and just remember that no matter how you occasionally feel-- you will not die of loneliness. Or virginity.

Each day gets better. Enjoy it and take lots of pictures!

Love,

Juliette

Confessing.

I've been such a lurker as of late. I've been reading lots of great blogs and not writing any. I've been thinking about my mermaid-esque treasure trove of incomplete ideas. I've been reading a lot of really entertaining nonsense-- and remembering some of my own entertaining, nonsensical ideas that I've long since abandoned. (Not without intent to return.) I've been thinking about old things-- the good things about old things and the better things about new things. I've been having new ideas and new desires (at the most inconvenient times) to revisit old ideas. I've been feeling outdated and underqualified for everything involving my professional life.

I've also had the hardest time spelling the word inconvenient today. I've used spell check on it 3 times in the past 12 hours.

I feel bad about the days when I don't want to deal with people. Even fun people. I know everyone has days like that, but I don't really have time to have days like that.

I feel responsible for several people who I don't really know very well yet-- and I think the majority of that feeling is one of responsibility to spend time with those new people and get to know them better. But sometimes, I feel like there are still so many "old people" left in my heart, who I still love and care about and want to know about. Facebook happily, continuously and cryptically updates me concerning their lives and their business-- but its not the same. I've always been terrible at letting go.

Maybe that's the reason I haven't met any really cool new ideas lately. Maybe my community life and my writing life just need a jumpstart.

i AM working on a new project. With a partner. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why. :) But I'm happy about it and I hope it goes well.

If something else happens, I'll try to keep you posted.

Uno. Dos. Tres.

-I wonder if I'll ever NOT be tense driving through Illinois backroads. Some of them are so small and bumpy and Todd flies over them like he poured the asphalt himself. Zero respect. I get nervous. Also, there's nothing more unsettling than a concrete construction barrier that forces you into just two lanes on an unfamiliar highway. So scary.

-I think self-inflicted drama should have an age limit. I know that The Real Housewives and The Bad Girls Club and Sex In The City beg to differ, but there's just really no excuse for such poor behavior in grown people. It makes me sick and sad every time I witness it.

-In other news, I got to shoot my father in law's rifle pellet gun today. In the basement. I've never shot anything larger than a handgun, unless you count the water cannon I wielded annually at summer camp. He set up a cardboard box target for me and I aimed from roughly 30 feet away-- I only shot two times... and I hit the bullseye both times! So fun! Next time, maybe I'll attempt a real rifle... outside of course. :)

Post-Eclipse

Stephenie Meyer's four volume, 2500 page (more or less) saga is just further proof that when you're telling a compelling story-- you can take as much time as you need.

I finished Eclipse today. One more book to go-- I'm ready for the ending, whatever it is. And so far, the ride has been a lot more entertaining than I'd anticipated. The second book had a lot of the really cool backstory I'd been hoping for-- and of course, loads of drama. I really enjoyed it.

Just one more volume and I'm through.

Oh, and I haven't changed my mind. Forced to choose, I'd still pick a werewolf over a vampire.

Post- New Moon

I woke up this morning riddled with allergies. Very uncommon. I managed to clean up the downstairs part of the house this morning, but besides that, I've been lazing about trying to clear the haze from my head. Part of that strategy included finishing Volume 2 of the Twilight saga. And I must say, I really enjoyed it. Intriguing conflict, well-developed characters, excellent storytelling.

However, I find Bella to be morose, unbelievably selfish and overly worshipful of Edward and vampires in general. I hope she grows some self-esteem and some basic human courtesy in the next book.

Edward was sort of out of the picture in this one, but when he came back, he was his same stubborn, overprotective, freezing cold self. Whatevs. They're perfect for each other.

I really like the rest of the Cullens though, Alice in particular. And I'm still intrigued by the mystery of Rosalie.

And then there's Jacob. Confident, sweet, comforting, WARM-blooded Jacob. I really liked him and felt terrible for him when Bella just blew snot and tears all over him for 400 pages and then threw him away.

I guess, as of now, that puts me on Team Jacob. I'll let you know how Eclipse goes.

Retail Therapy Setback

Albany, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, Bismarck, Cleveland, DeSoto, Decatur, El Paso, Franklin, Jacksonville, Nashville, Salem, Savannah, & Tuscola.

Believe it or not, all of those are cities in Missouri & Illinois.

Since moving here, I've heard a lot of these city names pop up and I've been very accusatory toward both states for stealing names from other cities in other states. Granted, I don't know who settled first, and I don't have time today to wikipedia that information-- but nevertheless, the lack of creativity is occasionally frustrating.

All that to say, yesterday, I traveled to the retail metropolis that is Brentwood (MO, not TN-- though they are remarkably similar. Wealthy and covered in malls, boutiques and department stores.) I went to pick up three small things-- and left slightly intoxicated by all the things I suddenly wanted but could not afford.

I used to live just a few miles from Brentwood, TN and that required me to drive through the retail area on a daily basis. I developed a habit of stopping and browsing and occasionally picking up a deal.

But ever since moving to St. Louis, where I have to plan a trip across town to the Galleria or Trader Joe's, where even Target is 12 minutes away, I've noticed that my retail therapy habit has been kicked. Outta sight, outta mind. That's good news for our budget. I can go months now without even thinking about adding to my wardrobe.

It only took one trip to the Galleria, to H&M, Urban Outfitters and XXI, to spoil all of that for a few hours. I left the mall dreaming about a beautiful swing blazer, some amazing grey ankle boots, an arty, mid-century looking print that would go great in our bedroom and a lovely russet-colored purse-- all of which I could not afford. Then I dropped in at Trader Joe's for some hummus and had to put on blinders against all the tantalizing, yummy hippie food and drink they have to offer-- which I also currently cannot afford. Dave Ramsey, you're killin me this week.

But only took a car ride home to my little neighborhood to come (95%) out of my non-consumerist funk. I'm really grateful that we can pay our bills and that our house isn't filled with crap we don't need. I'm grateful that I wear all the clothes in my closet-- and I'm grateful for the hope and the education that will one day provide me with a job that will allow me to shop for work at H&M.

Speaking of... feel free to show up any day now, Sexy, Grown-Up Job. I'm waiting as patiently as I can for you.

What I'm {Triple Stealing}...

(Val stole this from Dani, who stole this it from Annie Blogs.)

What I’m [reading] = New Moon. I know, I know. I read the first installment of the Twilight saga about a year ago and it took me a year to cave, but as of this week, I am making my way through the second book. And I must say-- I am entertained. I like it better than the first one.

What I’m [also reading] = The Valley of Vision. It's a book of exquisite Puritan prayers, I've been making it a part of my quiet time and it's been very humbling and eye opening.

What I’m [eating] = Made breakfast this morning! Cheesy scrambled eggs, toast w/ strawberry jam, bacon, cheese danish, coffee and OJ.

What I’m [hearing] = Nothing at the moment. It's lovely. I've noticed that since working at the Arch and being aurally assaulted by voices and announcements for 8 hours a day, all the while being forced to talk and explain things to dozens of people over the hum of hundreds of voices, I have a lot less tolerance for unnecessary noise. Especially in my house.

What I’m [writing] = this blog... and maybe something else.

What I’m [missing] = Saffire Restaurant. The people AND the food. I've been thinking about it a couple times a week, I think I need a CFC fix.

What I’m [loving] = The Avett Brothers record Emotionalism. Great harmony, excellent writing/storytelling. It's just so good. And we're going to see them live at the Pageant in September! I couldn't be more excited :)

What I’m [googling] = Michael Drummond, the St. Louis designer who's currently on Project Runway! One of my friends walked in his show during STL Fashion Week. Pretty cool.

What I’m [watching] = Since LOST is over, Chuck is my favorite show. The relationships between all the characters are just so great. I've grown to love them all over the past 3 years... and I'm just finishing up Season 3.

What I’m [surprised about] = how early these tuckpointing jokers decide to start working on our house. At 7am, they start with the sanding and scraping and whirring and showering concrete dust EVERYWHERE in the back courtyard. We accidentally left a window cracked in the kitchen, and the entire counter got covered in a fine layer of dust. Not to mention them blocking the way to our basement laundry area with tarps and ladders AND standing on those ladders at eye level with our kitchen and bedroom windows. I'm happy for the repairs, but I'll be really happy when they're all done.

What I’m [wondering] = why and how Gotham has developed a new hobby of chewing through (unplugged) electrical cords. First my curling iron (which is fortunately pretty cheap and rarely used) and then a lamp in the living room. I am NOT amused and he got in BIG trouble. Guess I better get some Bitter Apple spray before he notices something expensive, like a phone charger or computer cord.

Two Completely Different Things.

Making the decision to sleep with somebody you just met is like picking up a half eaten, 3 day old burrito off the floor of a train station and putting it in your mouth. Potentially worse.

---

If I had written this song, I wouldn't ever have to write another one. I could die completely satisfied with my one-hit wonder. This is absolutely my favorite song right now, but I can't really imagine anyone not liking it. (and LOST fans, its even more fantastic if you picture Juliet & Sawyer as Love & Hate embodied. Serious.) Please please please, give it a listen. Or go to the show, they're touring with Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Should be really good. :)

Finishing.

I never finished my high school scrapbook. (9th-11th grade)

I never assembled all the memorable bits and pieces I saved from my semester abroad.

I've been collecting t-shirts since I was in grade school, and have still never attempted to cut them into patches and assemble a t-shirt quilt, even though I've been wanting to do it since my freshman year of college.

I have furniture that needs stripping and a bedroom wall that needs painting and pictures to hang.

I also have letters to write; of the thank you variety, as well as the catch up variety. And I better get to it since Ben comes home from Afghanistan in October.

There are even songs I used to be able to play on the piano that I'm afraid I've forgotten how to play.

But between cleaning the house and the car and cooking and working and spending time with friends, I doubt I'll ever HAVE the time.

I'm going to have to make the time. I think it'd feel pretty good to complete some abandoned projects. Maybe once I get a few completed projects under my belt, I'll be able to tackle the most difficult project of all-- an abandoned story.

We'll see :)

This Week I...

• cut up my Discover card. Really, really.
  
• finished reading Huck Finn.
• decided to finish reading the Twilight series.
• ate fresh, ripe blackberries from a bush in my parents-in-law's yard.
• began convincing a bff couple of ours to name their future son after a swashbuckling hero.
• sat on my bed and talked to my (female) bestie.
• watched fireworks in a national park.
• stayed on a grocery budget for the first time in my life
  
• drank fresh cantaloupe/apple/grape/spinach juice, concocted by my husband.
  

Failed to Mention...

Oh, and during that same Jell-o promo at the zoo, I also met a little 3 year old boy named Anakin. No lie. I always knew there were a few running around somewhere, but I'd yet to meet one. His dad called him over to play some game we had laid out, and when they finished and came to pick up their jell-o samples, I confirmed it.

"Did you say his name was Anakin?"

The dad (who you could never tell was a fanboy just by looking at him) confirmed it with a huge nerdy grin. I had to grin back.

This Won't Be A Habit.

But today, I spent the majority of my day at the STL Zoo doing a promo for Jell-o. I thought it might be fun for you to see what I put my digestive system through today.

Food Journal 6/28/10

- honey wheat bagel with whipped strawberry cream cheese
- cup of chocolate mousse pudding
- cup of dulce de leche pudding
- cup of blue raspberry jello
- package of peanut butter crackers
- half a cup of chocolate pudding
- several bottles of water
- cup of strawberry jello
- 2 hand breaded chicken fingers
- 2 loaded potato skins
- 1 small square of cheese pizza
- roasted red pepper hummus & wheat thins
- small bowl of banana pudding (w/ real bananas and nilla wafers)
- 4 mini guinness chocolate cupcakes

I'm sorry, body. We'll do better tomorrow. Or maybe Wednesday.

Yum & Yay

It's been a pretty magnificent couple of days.

Wednesday, we (read: me, Todd & Erin) went over to the Fabulous Fox Theatre to try and win tickets to Wicked. They were running a lottery and if your name got pulled, you got to buy 2 tickets for $25 each on the second row of the theatre (partial view, but still excellent seats).

Todd's name got pulled! We got buttons, and Todd went to the box office to buy the tickets. But we still needed to buy one more seat, so I go to the box office window two down from him and just as we're about to drop another $45 for a seat in the first balcony, a lady comes by and says that since I didn't win the lottery, I can buy a ticket anywhere in the house for $40 bucks. So the box office lady quickly does another scan and finds me a ticket in the orchestra section! Forty bucks! I paid her and walked outta there grinning like a fool.

We get in the car and realize our seats are actually really close together! Row B, seats 10, 12, & 14. I didn't quite understand where row B was (that chart thing is kind of confusing). An hour and a half later, after a marvelous homemade spaghetti extravaganza, we get back to the theatre for the show and realize that for some reason, all the seats in our row are numbered evenly. So 10, 12, & 14 are all in a row.

In short, I got to experience one of my favorite musicals for the second time (and it was better the second time!), sandwiched between my husband and lil sis. AND I got to see both of them experience it for the first time (they both thought it was magnificent), all from the second row of the orchestra section. It was fantastic. I laughed out loud at Galinda's antics and shed a tear during "For Good" thinking of my beloved roommates. It was such an excellent night.

Thursday night, we attended our Financial Peace class and Todd's mom had us over for dinner afterwards. Free food and family is a great combination.

Friday afternoon, we sold one of our vehicles. For more on that, see the post below this one. It's a very good thing. And on Friday night? We celebrated. Our friend Joel turned 30 and Todd and I went out with him and his wife and our friends Josh and Kim to celebrate. There were mojitos and there were tapas. Lots of tapas. Braised short ribs with cherry reduction on green apple smashed potatoes, lobster/crawfish risotto, tilapia spring rolls, short ribs mini burgers with potato cakes and smoked ketchup, herbed gnocchi with asparagus sauce, flash-fried baby artichoke hearts with sweet chili sauce, pot stickers with peanut sauce and petite beef tenderloin with wilted spinach and blue cheese butter. Holy palate extravaganza, Batman. It was unbelievably delicious.

After dinner we indulged in some heavenly homemade ice cream desserts at the Fountain on Locust, and capped the evening at iTap, Soulard's newest, hippest brewpub, with 50 beers on tap and 450 in bottles. I had Bells Oberon Summer Ale, it was lovely.

There's not a whole lot of things better than good food and good beer at a cool place with good people. It's been a wonderful week/end. :)

Venting... An Epilogue

Sometimes I forget that God is so much bigger than $75.

Stupid? Absolutely. But I can be such a halfwit when it comes to chilling out and trusting Him. Every now and then, I have to be smacked around a little bit. And this time, well He used 30 teenagers from Fort Worth to get the point across.

Last week, August Gate participated in a youth missions camp called PowerPlant. Kids from all over the country go to different cities and help local church plants in the area by doing service projects or whatever the church needs done. The group that helped us was from Cana Baptist Church in Burleson, TX. Their youth group helped us clean, organize and paint the children's area inside the church we rent from and they did some landscaping around the neighborhood as well. They were such great kids and really did a great job with everything.

At night, after the service projects and dinner, they all met back up at a local university campus for their evening worship and teaching time. Todd was the evening speaker for the week (which was pretty surreal to observe, after being a youth camper myself for SO many years), and on Monday night, speaking about the way the Gospel should change our hearts as well as our actions, he brought up the story about our neighbors.

At that point, I was perfectly aware of the way I needed to internally handle that situation-- but I wasn't there yet. I was still pissed. We didn't have the money for the ticket and our neighbors were passive-aggressively antagonizing us. I wanted time to sulk a little.

To keep the ticket from doubling, we'd gone to set a court date, trusting that the money would get figured out before the middle of July.

On Friday morning, while Todd was laying out the plan for their final day of work, the kids interrupted him and presented him with a weathered manila envelope with "PTO" printed in sharpie on the front.

Parking Ticket Offering. Contents: $126.00 of their own money.

Needless to say, I was immediately humbled and convicted about my ridiculous behavior.

As of today, the ticket is paid in full and car that got the ticket (the Element) is sold-- to a young guy and his pregnant wife from Fayetteville, Arkansas. We put it up on craigslist and within 3 days, we got a call. We were able to pay off the car loan and still made some money from the sale (which helps out with the last couple of bills this month). We'll be saving over $350/month being a one-car family, and since we both live and work so close-by its really not a big hassle. (We've been practicing for the past three weeks, it's SO nice not having to worry about parking at work :) Also, we just happen to be in the week of Financial Peace University where we do the debt snowball and talk about having "gazelle-like intensity" when it comes to getting out of debt. We were ready to sell the car. Wanted and needed to. Dave Ramsey affirmed our decision. And the Lord provided a buyer quickly. And guess what? The buyer paid cash. Two years worth of income tax returns. Done and Done.

God is good. Equally as good as He was the day we got the ticket. And as good as He will be on the day we're debt free.

This Here Is Real: *Vol. 2

*This might become a series. Or it might not.

Ten years ago this month, my first love asked me to be his girlfriend. It was a really big deal. It was the first tangible step in my "ridiculous obsession with love".

I didn't date until I was 15 and up until that point, I vented a lot of romantic frustration by writing. I made up beautiful, sappy courtships for fictional people. Or I re-imagined characters I'd seen on tv or in movies. I'd pull them out of the boring action stories their creator had placed them in and then tend to their sad, grossly unattended personal lives. I knew it was a parasitic approach to creation, but I wasn't old enough or creative enough to envision and birth an entire world and backstory for it by myself. So I spent years as a borrower—and I had a blast with it.

Sometimes I'd take characters who were already in a relationship and expand it, but other times, all I needed was an inkling that two characters were into each other and that their romantic tension was being neglected—then I'd go crazy.

I wrote stories about Power Rangers and Barbies. I wrote stories for cartoon characters, fictional action heroes, and the stars of my after-school tv shows. They all turned into musicals, sometimes with ice skating. Other times I pulled my favorite characters from one cast and stuck them into another cast. (If I was still into this, it would be like taking the characters from LOST and casting them in Les Mis, but still letting them have their behind the scenes relational drama.) True story. That was my life for years.

You can only imagine my shock, when as a 14 year-old, I discovered that I wasn't alone in this hobby.

Have you ever visited fanfiction.net?

Well… you may not want to. It's kind of ridiculous. And kind of amazing. But it was created for and by people with my same mindset; fans who thought they could do it better. Or fans who were just really bored and liked to write. There are categories on this site for everything; anime, movies, books, songs, tv shows, etc. All you have to do is be a fan and think you know exactly what is missing from some character's life.

For me, that character was the daughter of two heroes that meant a lot to me back in 1998. If you care to fly your freak flag and seek out the story beyond the six Star Wars films, you will find books. LOTS of books. And in them you will find new villains and new planets and new reasons to go to war. You will also find new heroes and weapons and academies on remote jungle moons where aspiring Jedi knights go to be trained. Among them, you will find the daughter of Han Solo and Princess Leia (they actually got married, in case you were wondering). Her name is Jaina. She is stubborn and sassy and extremely brave—exactly how you would expect the daughter of the aforementioned two to be.

In the books, Jaina was usually busy getting kidnapped or being hunted or slaying things and fighting in battles, and that was all great—but I couldn't figure out why she didn't have a boyfriend. So I wrote a story and gave her one. An awesome one who was charming and handsome and rough around the edges. He also happened to be a bad-ass starpilot, a guitar player AND he could dance. Dreamboat.

I worked on that story from the fall of 1998 until the fall of 2002. Even after my raging love for Star Wars died down, I was in love with my characters and I couldn't stop editing their lives. I still have the story. It's over 57,000 words on 190 pages in a word document. It's hilarious and dramatic and schmaltzy. But it's finished-- one of the few complete pieces I have. I don't think I'll ever give it to anyone (else) to read, but I'll also never throw it away. It had its place, served its purpose and it is now permanently archived.

So, there you have it. I wrote fanfic. Now that that's off my chest… onward and upward. :)

P.S. if you have read my fanfic and I still know you, you're one of a very select few (Lauren!). And you better not tell anybody how to find it! :)

Venting. Because Sometimes, That's What Blogs Are For.

Can I just tell you how angry I am at our next door neighbors?

Actually, Mr. Rogers would roll over in his grave if he knew I'd used his favorite friendly term of endearment to refer to the ignorant, hateful savages next door.

These people.

First of all. They have obnoxious dogs that used to bark at EVERYTHING THAT MOVED. AND LOTS OF THINGS THAT DIDN'T. They were constantly yelling at the dogs to shut up or come inside (they were NOT obedient on any front.)

Our other neighbor John, was also having a problem with the dogs barking at him through the fence whenever he was outside reading. So he bought a bag of treats, went over to the house, introduced himself and asked if he could also meet the dogs, give them a treat and let them sniff him in hopes that maybe they wouldn't freak out as much when they sensed he was outside.

The answer was a very unfriendly no and a door shut in his face.

The dogs (Elvis and Oreo, a rott and a border collie) also used to get in growling, snarling fights whenever Gotham came outside to go to the bathroom. Gotham rarely even sniffed in their direction, and NEVER barked. Dude Who Owns The House (who I will NOT physically describe because I can't do it without being ugly) had the NERVE to stick his rotund head over my fence and and tell me that we were gonna "have to do something because I'm not gonna be goin over and breaking up my dogs every time yours is outside."

(Because apparently it's my problem that you haven't trained your dogs to listen to you.)

I politely informed him that Gotham is an inside dog and only comes outside to do his business.

"Well, I'm gonna have to call Bob (our landlord) or something because I'm not gonna be breaking these dogs up all the time."

I told him to go right ahead. He never did.

And the dogs don't get into fights anymore either. Because a few months later, it turns out the the rott, which was ridiculously overweight, had diabetes. They didn't know about it and the dog suddenly went into a diabetic coma and died.

Second Incident: Last week, Todd accidentally parked in the wrong spot after picking me up from work late one night. Savage Neighbor Dude called the police to come out and had a $75 ticket placed on our car for parking in his handicapped spot. Granted it was our mistake, but it was a complete accident. And they claim they didn't know the car was ours, even though it's been parked right next to theirs for 8 months. Also, I'm sure you can obtain one for a number of reasons, but we still can't figure out who in that house the handicapped sign applies to.

Third Incident: The brick wall that we share with their yard is leaking from the outside in. It's flooding our kitchen and our downstairs neighbor's bedroom. Today, we got this email from our landlord.

---

We have been in talks with Andre Tuckpointing trying to get the south wall tuckpointed and sealed. Unfortunately, we are getting a lot of kickback from the neighbor. We are spending our time trying to smooth things over in order to get the wall fixed. As it stands, the tuckpointers need to enter the neighbors yard in order to complete the tuckpointing and the neighbor is refusing to let them enter at this time. We have discussed with the tuckpointers another option of possibly temporarily repairing the wall from the inside but they said the tenants would have to move out for at least 4 days so that is not an option. Lastly, we have decided to have a tarp installed on the south wall to keep the rain from penetrating the wall and entering into the apartments. Unfortunately, they were unable to get it installed before this massive rain. As soon as the rain lets up they will get to the apartments to get it installed. It is a first item on their list.

---

To top it all off, these people have a huge Confederate Flag on a giant pole in the middle of their yard.

And I'm done.

Except to say that suddenly, the handicapped sign makes sense.

Tweet Essays

I don't tweet. But if I did, I'd talk about things like this...

***

Being American, aged 18-30 and possessing an iPod entirely devoid of any music by Michael Jackson or Stevie Wonder, renders you utterly questionable and untrustworthy in my book.

***

I'm pretty sure every teenage girl wished for this to happen at some point, but I'd like to meet or hear form the 1 in 5000 young woman who actually went to the pool or the waterpark in the summer, made eyes at the lifeguard, rode the slide 3 times, got the lifeguard's number on the 3^rd ride and ended up dating him for the summer. Or longer.

Does that really only happen in movies? Or did somebody live it? Not some contrived mess either, I don't want to hear about anyone throwing themselves at a lifeguard. I just want to know if anyone's ever found true love at the pool or on the deck of a water slide. I'd like to find out that somebody married the lifeguard.

Somebody find me a real life Squints & Wendy Peffercorn, please.

***

My brewpub restaurant job triggered this next thought—but I am shocked by how many people show up to work nowadays, lookin a hot mess. If you're interacting with the public all day, don't you want to look like you took a second to put yourself together? Nobody wants to buy anything from someone who looks like they've been studying for finals all night long.

Guys have no excuse. It takes you like 75 seconds to get ready. Ladies, if you're chronically running late, why not invest in a Go Bag, that has all your basic prettying essentials inside? Then all you gotta do is take five minutes once you get to work and get it together. Being punctual is very important, but do you really think you're gonna feel better about being on time if you have to walk around the office or the restaurant looking afright all day? And if you're already late—what's five more minutes?! If you're already late, there's NO point in looking crazy when you walk in. At least let people believe that you were doing something that caused you to be late.

Is time the issue here? Or do people just stop caring? There's no excuse for that.

***

I have what I lovingly refer to as a half-fro. Ergo, at night, I sometimes/usually have to wrap my hair up in a silken headscarf. The scarf I have is brown with some kind of animal print on it, but its pretty subtle. It's not ugly, it just looks very—ethnic. And in the morning, when I take it off, it takes me all of five minutes to do my hair without a curling/straightening iron. It's fabulous. The scarf keeps the curls curled and the straightening straightened.

What amazes me is how nonchalant I've become about Todd seeing me in my headscarf. My 24-year old self would probably be appalled. But Todd is not weirded out by it at all, In fact, he likes it. That's part of why I married him.

But I still won't let him see me in a shower cap. #interracial marriage

This Here Is Real.

Can I just be honest for a minute? I feel like I haven' t been. I feel like I've been trying to impress people and then feeling foolish and depressed that I can't.

I don't know what this blog is for anymore. I don't have time for it. I don't make time for it. It doesn't really have purpose like I want it to. Not even selfish purpose.

I've been defining myself as a writer for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was small, I've wanted to tell stories, woo people with my words and paint beautiful pictures for them with my marvelous penchant for syntax. I've wanted to string words together that cause people to think and emote and have life-changing experiences. I still want to do that.

I've also been keeping this blog for awhile, hoping it would be something cathartic for me that internet browsers and potential future employees would stumble upon and fall in love with for my wittiness and engagingness and ability to compose a sentence using nonsensical verbage in a charming way.

I haven't done any of those things.

I've abandoned this blog. I could say I'm barely writing anymore but the truth is, I'm doing a lot of dreaming and not writing a damn thing. I haven't touched a story in I don't know how long. I'm not writing for work or for play, I have no current projects.

I used to have projects every single night. I'd come home from work and write till 3am, some nonsense about superheroes or jedi knights and people falling in love and overcoming adversity.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade this new life for anything… but it hurts, falling out of what I've been used to. I'm different now and I have a million things calling for my attention. I feel compelled to answer them all and in doing so I feel I have lost—am losing-- a piece of who I am. It sucks. I feel bad for my poor husband, because I've started having weepy breakdowns over this madness about once a month.

I can't stand it anymore.

So this is an apology and a promise. An apology for not making time for what's important, for something I love. A preemptive apology, knowing it will happen again and I'll have to be okay with it.

But mostly, a promise. A promise to stop just thinking about it and put something down, no matter how ridiculous. A promise not to get caught up in comments and website visits. A promise to make time to let words flow and not to give up on the tales I'm in love with, the characters I've created and bonded myself to and to the stories that have shaped so much of who I am.

Uncharted stories, unwritten words-- I'm not going anywhere. I'm making a comeback, albeit slowly. Expect some changes.

I promise I will always adore you, and while I may threaten you, I will never actually leave you.

And someday, eventually… I will write you.

Community

This past Sunday, this postcard was featured on the Post Secret blog*.

Several people wrote in to respond to it:

-----Email Message-----

Please don't jump. I also wanted to jump off two years ago but I'm glad I didn't because things are now much better.


-----Email Message-----

My friend jumped off it in 2006. She was legal. I still miss her like hell. She might not have felt like she belonged in San Francisco, but she belonged somewhere. So do you.


-----Email Message-----

Come to Indiana. I want you here. You could belong here.

---


Then this facebook group was started...


Which has led to this event, this coming Sunday.


There's no denying that Facebook is a huge time suck-- but every now and then, it joins forces with an incredible cult art phenomenon and redeems itself a little bit.


*FYI, the Post-Secret blog contains some adult images and content.

How it's been.

Sunday: Work 7-3, Church setup @ 3:30, First AG baptism, Em's last night before leaving for Haiti.

Monday: Breakfast with Kim, visit Grandpa @ hospital, Memorial Day BBQ, small group at our house.

Tuesday: work 7-4, Dollar Burgers @ Llewellyns, attempt to tame my hair.

Wednesday: work 7-4, dinner at home, Cardinals game with Genteman fam.

Thursday: work 7-3, snack at home, drive to IL for Financial Peace University @ FBC Bethalto, dinner with Genteman fam.

Friday: bank, groceries, bills, laundry, etc, work 6:30-midnight @ Schlafly.

Saturday: eat breakfast, return library books, work 1-5 @ Dentyne promo gig, work 6-midnight @ Schlafly.

Sunday: start over.

Mix in my parents coming to visit for a week (which was wonderful), training a slew of new people at work, looking for a job that will let me use my degree, and sleeping.

"Daisy, let it go..."

I've been away. I've been full of life and empty of time to tell about it.

My parents came to town for a week and stayed with us. We had a lot of fun and ate a lot of good food. My mom and I participated in a craft fair and sold lots of delicious baked goods, including lemon cake bombs that ended up tasting like posh homemade zebra cakes. I saw Iron Man 2, was blessed with cute new mustard yellow flats and new thermal curtains that keep the blazing sun out of our window-walled upstairs bedroom. Also, Gotham ate and digested an entire tennis ball.

I also got my heart broken for the first time in a long time. I never imagined that getting dumped professionally and romantically would feel so eerily and heartbreakingly similar.

For the first time in my life, I wanted this job. I had the education and the desire to do it well. I was immediately attracted to it; I wanted to hang out with it and get to know it and fall in love with it and commit to it. On the exterior, and even on the shallow interior, me and this job were perfect for each other; it made me happy, it made sense, and I wanted it.

But the Lord obviously has other plans for me. Plans that I was utterly apathetic towards yesterday afternoon when I got the call that I was not selected for the position.

But today has been better. I imagine the coming days will be too. I go back to work at the Arch tomorrow and I put in my two weeks notice at Schlafly this past weekend (in favor of a summertime promotional gig). Todd and I are also starting Financial Peace University in a couple of weeks. I feel like days are flying by, and yet I'm also waiting-- impatiently and incessantly-- for new changes. All while trying to savor little moments in each set of 24 hours, and stay on top of every day life.

But I guess that's what you do when you're a grown up. I'll take it.

Lord, give me strength.

"You give and take away...
You give and take away...
My heart will choose to say,
"Blessed be Your name.""

Loverly

It's been a good day.

Our old, stinky, cantankerous dishwasher is GONE. In its place is a brand new shiny, good-smelling dishwasher that is practically silent. Magnificent.

My belly is full from a delicious dinner of whole wheat rotini pasta (my fave... well, any curly pasta is my face), brocolli, chicken and sauteed mushrooms with mozz cheese.

We took Gotham for a good walk and on the way, we met another neighbor with a Boxer, which was cool. But the best part was learning the names of some neighborhood kids (who are ALWAYS sitting out on the stoop when we walk Gotham in the evenings) Marilyn is the oldest, she's in seventh grade. She has a cousin, Brittany who sits out there with her, and then there are her 3 year old twin siblings... Luke and Leia. I kid you not. That is serious fandom commitment! I felt an instant connection. And the coolest/most unusual part? All the kids are black. Fantastic.

Tomorrow is Todd's LAST day at Starbucks! He's so excited to be back in full time ministry. And... I have an interview tomorrow. For a grown up job, in a marketing department. With books. Amazing books. :) I'm really excited about it, but I'm trying not to be, you know? I'll tell you more about it later...

And LOST. I can't even talk about it right now. I'm still processing. Sigh.

But.

It's been a great day. And I hope tomorrow's even better. :)

Restless.

I think that sometimes, when everyone around me seems to be experiencing change, I think I'm supposed to change too. Even if I'm already in the midst of a larger, more gradual change.

For example... even though I'm totally still settling into married life and a new community and city in St. Louis, three of my Schlafly co-workers are leaving or have already left. My husband is also starting a new job in a couple of weeks. So now, even though I'm grateful for the extra (easy) money that Schlafly provides, I find myself wanting *out of the restaurant business again, for no good reason.

Also, Todd and I are going to have to figure out some kind of compromise about our tv.

For the most part, I can't stand tv. I've only realized this over the past couple of years. Unless it's a show or a movie I love to watch, I feel like tv is intruding on my life, distracting my already ADD-riddled soul and imagination. While there are some movies and tv moments that I'm pleasantly surprised by, for the most part, it stresses me out. And it sucks because I know that for a lot of people, tv is an excellent escape. A de-frag. It is for Todd. And I have those moments too, occasionally. And of course I don't want to give up time with my husband! I want us to be able to relax on the couch together, but 75% of the time, channel surfing or just having the tv on when no one's actually watching it Stresses Me Out. *Denham's Dentrifice all over again. I can't deal with it. It makes me edgy.

I think I'd be less edgy if I could figure out how to focus my thoughts when I have TIME to focus them. But it's always so much easier during inopportune moments, like at church, or in the middle of an 8 hour work shift.

*sigh*

I gotta go. Life is waiting.



*When I read Fahrenheit 451 for the first time, I never though this bit would stick with me, but it has. It's always been a really relevant reference for me because I feel like I'm consistently troubled by it. "Denham's Dentrifice" is a reference to the toothpaste ad blaring on the subway while Guy Montag is trying to focus and memorize a chapter from the Bible. He keeps desperately trying to focus his thoughts, but the advertisement is relentless and he eventually flees the train. The book is so good. Read it if you haven't.

"Quieras ir afuera, perrito?"

I've been speaking Spanish to Gotham. That's usually the only thing I remember to say. (You wanna go outside, puppy?) But it's Spanish, nonetheless.

***

I parked for free today at work. I LOVE parking for free. I never realized what a luxury that is until I starting freaking working at the Arch. Anyway, at the Arch, your options are:

• Park in one of the 20 free spots at the cathedral (which always get filled up by 7am by the park rangers) and not have to walk but 90 seconds to get inside the building. Or park in a non-designated spot and potentially be towed.
• Park in the Arch garage for $4 before 9am and $6 after 9am. Daily. And walk 3-4 minutes to get inside the building.
  
• Park on the levee on the edge of the Mississippi. For free. And walk 5ish minutes to work... but for free!

I love parking for free. I used to be blessed with cathedral spots all the time. But lately, the river has been flooded, so the levee's been closed. So all the levee regulars took the cathedral spots and left yours truly in the expensive garage. But. The river has FINALLY receded and today, I parked for free, which is great-- except I'm terrified to park on the levee. It's only a slight incline, but my car is tall (Honda Element) and every time I get in or out of it and shut the door, I'm just sure its going to tumble into the Mississippi. There's nothing between my car and that raging, brown current except cobblestones-- and I don't know what I imagine the thing is made of, but I always assume its top-heavy and ponderous enough to succumb to a stiff breeze and topple over.

I know that's false. But I still get nervous.

But not nervous enough to pay for parking.

Hello, Hello...

After a week of feeling very disconnected, due to lack of internetz... I'm back. :)

I finished A Tree Grows In Brooklyn! Loved it. Apparently, I'm on a coming-of-age kick; I read, To Kill A Mockingbird, then Brooklyn and today I checked out The House On Mango Street and The Adventures of Huck Finn. I'm excited about both-- especially reading Huck Finn on the banks of the Mighty Mississip. :)

Right now, the dog is passed out from running in the park with his new friend, Oscar, a seven month old black lab mix. Todd and I are catching up on our online business and watching Mad Hot Ballroom, his first viewing, my second. I love this movie. And I need to learn Spanish. I said that last time I watched it.

Also, Milano cookies... are so... good.

More substance next post, I promise.

Kind of Blue

Miles Davis just came on the stereo at Starbucks. Let me catch you up a bit.

***

I started writing a story a couple years ago. It's set in Philadelphia, in the area surrounding and including Temple University. Featuring an ensemble cast of 9, I loved my story and my characters. One of them was an arrogant, womanizing university soccer stud named Alex.

Last week at the arch, the real, actual Temple basketball team came through to go up to the top. When I saw them, I couldn't stop glancing at them, silently, nonsensically thinking-- "They probably know Alex. And Maddie! (His girlfriend) I bet some of them were there at that party when it all went down."

Story is a haunting, amusing, perspective-altering beast, isn't it?

***

Speaking of that. I miss my story. Stories. I feel guilty that I never finish any of them. I feel like the writer in me has suffered a terrible accident that has left her paralyzed and only able dream and absorb other people's art. She is grateful to be alive, but heartbroken that time and inspiration refuse to converge on her.

***

But maybe I'm just being moody because the past few days have been exhausting. On the employment front, I found a potential new opportunity. In the space of a week, I've been hopeful, then relieved and excited... then promised, shocked, disappointed, frustrated, surprised and grateful. And haven't breathed a word about it to anyone I work with.

On the househunting front, we've found 4 "perfect" houses over the past few weeks. Two were in crappy neighborhoods. The third got snatched up a day before we could draw up a contract. And the fourth, found us sitting in Starbucks across from our realtor last night, signing very important looking papers. One step (read: check) from turning in an offer on our first house, we pulled the plug. It's not time. We're staying in our cute, parade route flat with the busted dishwasher until further notice.

On the everything else front, our dog hasn't eaten anything weird in weeks. He's gotten really good at fetch too. I saw Legally Blonde on stage last week with a new friend, and it was delightful. I saw The Fantastic Mr. Fox on blu-ray and I highly recommend it. After reading one of Katie's lists, I've been reading A Tree Grows In Brooklyn for the first time and I love it. I'm also obsessed with these right now and planning on attempting to make them sometime in the near future.

***

Last week at church, my friend brought her new son, Cannan, to church for the first time. When she brought him into the children's room, five other women and I were there, watching Allie (6 months) and Cash (9 months) play on the puzzle piece floormats. Celeste sat down with Cannan and we all talked and laughed and watched the babies rolling and jabbering and teething and trying to crawl. Looking around at these six other women, so outwardly different, but so alike in heart and love for these little ones, I suddenly felt like we were a pride of lionnesses-- strong, brave, ever-watchful and community-dependent for survival. I loved it. And it took me a week to write it down, but there you have it.

Herein Is Love

Beautiful sentiments written by Missy over at "It's Almost Naptime"... do yourself a favor and read it. I'm gonna go poke around on facebook.

Happy Easter, everyone :)

I'm so behind...

- This reminds me of that Jim Gaffigan bit about people who want to talk about a movie 8 months after it came out because they just saw/loved it... but I just figured out Google Analytics... and I really hope somebody looks at my blog soon because I want to see it in action!

- Gotham watched The Dark Knight for the first time this week. He also threw up another sock. (I'm assuming) He pulled this one out of the hamper while I was in the shower and threw it up after I got out.

- Culinaria is my happy place. Well, one of them. I LOVE grocery shopping there. Everything-- the flowers, the produce, the meats and fish and sandwich shop and olive bar and wine cellar-- is all so fresh and inviting and lovely and city chic. You have to park in a garage and ride an elevator back down to street level to get to the little urban market. Standing in the garage window, looking down at the streets, I feel like I'm in NYC every time. I love it. One day I will shop there all the time.

- Lots is happening. And I'm trying to figure it all out. I'll try to write something of consequence soon... till then, THIS is kinda strange, but pretty cute. And I don't even like teeth.

- How did I not know that my roommate's family makes oatmeal?! How did I miss this?!

Uno Mas...

Dear Imo's,

You need to stop telling people you are "St. Louis Style Pizza". If you don't, when tourists come through, they're going to start nasty rumors that people who live in our fair city believe that cardboard with ketchup and government cheese on it is pizza. Erroneous. If Italy was dead, it would be rolling over in it's grave every time you made a delivery. Get with the program and make us proud.

~juliette

"You're nasty!!!"

This is absolutely one my favorite things right now. Enjoy!

Catching Up with @ladyjuliette...

I don't actually tweet. But. Here are the past few days, in roughly 140 characters or less...

• Schalfly Stout & Oyster Fest: 1 weekend, 12 pro shuckers, 29,000 shells. And a lot of beer. Most relaxed 12 hour shift I've worked in a long time.

• If someone really wanted to punish me, they could lock me inside the walk-in of a commercial kitchen and make me scoop cocktail sauce out of a vat into a hotel pan with a plastic pitcher.

• Still can't believe I had to miss the Horan/Halbert nups in Austin on Saturday... the Gentemans will be making it up to them... within the year, I hope?
  

• There are SO many pregnant people and SO many new babies in my orbit right now. If I could afford to stock up on other liquids, I think I'd stop drinking the water.

• via @toddcontact: On Monday afternoon, on the way to pick up new dog food, Gotham started dry heaving in the front seat. After several seconds, he threw up an entire sock.

• Post Secret @ Maryville U: An excellent date night and a powerful presentation/demonstration on the impact of community.

• In a rush on Tuesday morning, I accidentally locked only one side of Gotham's two-doored kennel before leaving for work. He was alone in the house for 8 hours. You can imagine what I came home to.

• Actually, you don't have to. I'll tell you. I came home to my puppy locked in a dark bathroom pacing a poop-strewn floor. That's right. Be jealous.
  

• Before he locked himself in, he made himself at home. When I walked in, it looked like someone had ransacked our house and squeezed puppy bowels all over it. I bleached everything.
  

• But thank God he didn't hurt any furniture and only relieved himself on hardwood and linoleum. Good boy. Sort of.
  

• I'm allergic to spring in Missouri... at least I am this week. My head feels like a balloon and my nose feels like Santa got stuck trying to come down the chimney.

• Praise the Lord for authentic Mexican food within walking distance from the house.

• Just finished watching Secret Life of Bees. Bawled my eyes out several times. Mostly because I love my family... and I miss my Mudear.

• Hubby's home :) time to catch up on LOST!

Letters

Dear Downy Wrinkle Releaser,

I'd appreciate it if you would stop masquerading as a miracle product behind your trusty label. I am convinced you are nothing but water mixed with a hint of fabric softener.

~juliette



Dear Womens Jr. High & High School Volleyball Outfitters,

Good on you, deciding that six-inch spandex spankies are absolutely neccessary for peak athletic performance of indoor volleyball. Man, what a great idea, selecting the most self-concious, self-obsessed, insecure, competative, mean, and catty sect of people imaginable and parading their various maturing body types around in front of each other AND their sex-saturated schoolmates (not to mention some of their creepy dads, uncles and teachers/coaches) in last season's Victoria's Secret bikini bottoms. You sure know how to punch up game attendance during the competing football season.

~juliette



Dear *Kingston & Paddie,
I'm not gonna lie, you're pretty cute when you're sleeping. But when you're freaking out and snorting and snarling and nipping and growling and yelping and rubbing your slobber-soaked, smashed face all over my son's beautiful coat, I want to punt you across the neighborhood.

~juliette

*you know.



Dear Next Door Neighbor,

You're clearly a little bit Hispanic. But I still can't figure out why you have a Rebel flag flying on a large pole in your front yard. Todd and I sometimes stare out our bedroom window, brainstorming ways to remove it. Our favorite idea so far is via flaming arrow.

~juliette



Dear Season Six of LOST,
I just realized I shouldn't write to you, for spoilers sake... but suffice it to say I'm getting a little frustrated. You've only got like 8 or 9 episodes left and I'm expecting quite a bit out of you. Please don't disappoint me.

~juliette

Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man...

My husband told me that despite our tight budget, we need to go on a hot/interesting date at least once a month. So next Monday, we're going to dinner and then to the Post Secret event at Maryville U in St. Louis. He bought us tickets the other day.

What a mighty good man. :)

Why Jimmy Fallon Is The Best Late Show On TV.

I can't believe this happened-- or that I missed it live!!! Who (with the capacity to pull it off) would even think to do this?! Jimmy Fallon, you made my whole day. I can't even tell you how many of my M.A.S.H. lists contained the name "William James Jones".

Ladies & Gentlemen-- the reunion of the California Dreams!



Thanks for the heads up, Ginger. :)

Block.

I get so motivated and inspired to write... anytime I'm at work.

But when I have the entire day off? I don't know how to organize writing into it. And if by some miracle, I manage to get the dog to sleep and work in some down time? I still can't seem to squeeze out a word.

And lately, I'm also completely unmotivated at night. I can hardly believe I used to stay up until 3am writing things. Lately, when the sun goes down and the breeze gets colder I don't feel like doing ANYthing. I just want to be warm. And prolific.

I'm so ready for summer.

In case you were curious too...

Email address: ladyjuliette06@gmail.com
Message type: other
Comments:
I know this sounds silly... but could someone tell me who names all the different colors on paint swatches? Is that a job in itself, like Color Name Creation & Maintenance? Who's job description does that fall under? I'm very curious. Thank you!

~juliette

Time Sent: 26 Feb 2010 23:24:12 GMT

----

from: painttutor@sherwin.com
from: ladyjuliette06@gmail.com
date: Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 9:42 AM
subject: color names
mailed by: sherwin.com

Hi Juliette,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Sherwin Williams. I apologize fro the delay in my response. I had to ask. Here's the response I received:

Our Color Designers name the colors in addition to designing the layouts of all of our color features. I believe they typically have degrees in Interior Design and/or Art degrees.

Have a great day.

Regards,

Greg

"Hi, this is Viggo..."

I'm not eating chicken and it's dark outside. Today I made a pot roast in a crock pot while I was at work. I ate it for dinner and it was delicious. I also parked my car on the levee today because the levee was dry. And free. Later, Todd got in a car accident. He's okay, but our front bumper got eaten in the collision-- which was NOT, in any way, our fault. Back to Team 1 Auto for us.

Tonight, Gotham actually listened and understood and obeyed me when I told him to go get his toy and lay on his bed. We're sitting together now in front of a dying fire. Also, there's a new girl at work. I like her. And tomorrow, I'll be the new girl at work. Hopefully they will like me.

More on that tomorrow.

Misadventure

Somebody thought it would be a great idea
to eat hot candle wax.

Yes, that is wax, now cooled and crusted, upon his lip.
He's fine. And he only ate a tiny bit, but it also dripped on his head, from the table and it's still there because I can't think of any other way to melt it off than to stick his head in the fireplace.
So there it'll stay.

Great Way To Spend Three Hours

Todd and I finally saw Avatar on Friday night.

I had no frame of reference for the movie and never really kept up with any of the hype-- I just kinda wanted to see it because I knew it was this big, sweeping, 3D epic. When it also became the highest grossing film of all time, I figured we should see it on the big screen before the Oscars. So on Friday, since we both wound up with the night off, we splurged and watched it in 3D.

Y'ALL.

It was amazing. I mean, SO GOOD. The kind of film/story that sticks to you, you know? I thought about it the entire next day. I guess maybe I shouldn't be that surprised, because it wouldn't be the first time I'd been swept up by some grand, geeky phenomenon... but I was pretty shocked at how much I loved it. I mean, it's definitely the best, most memorable movie I've seen in a long time. I got totally sucked in by the struggle between the Na'vi and the humans, and even after 162 minutes had passed, I could've kept watching. I'd even go see it again. It was beautiful and captivating and I highly recommend it. Even my husband, who is only geeky in the slightest, thought it was fantastic.

So... if you've been a slacker like me, stop reading reviews and go see it. It's worth your $12.00.

Work Hard, Play Hard

Mercenary Creativist. I think that's my official title.

I had to do some freelancey work today. Last night, I called about 40 people to collect email addresses for my hairdresser's email mailing list (she's opening a new salon and I'm becoming her marketing/events diva). I only connected with about 10 of them, but I left a bunch of messages and then designed a marketing email for her. I had to finish it up and plug in all the email addresses this morning. I was working from the bedroom upstairs because one whole wall is a window and until about 5pm, it's the warmest room in the house. But Gotham was incredibly bored while I was working and alternated between napping, staring out the window, carrying various toys around the bedroom and crawling under the bed and whining for about 4 hours. I took him out a few times, all the while promising him a grand adventure as soon as I finished.

I didn't finish quickly enough though and even though I swore I wouldn't until he was older, I ended up pulling him up on the bed with me. It was the only way I could get some peace. He promptly went to sleep at my feet. Stinker.

Anyway, I finished around 1:15 and as soon as I could get my shoes on, we were out the door. It's a beautiful day here. Still kind cold (46ish) but the sun's out and there's not a cloud in the sky. We walked several blocks and wove through different neighborhoods before running into the gate of Frenchtown Dog Park, which is just 2 blocks from our house. Gotham is just barely old enough to be admitted (4 months), and annual dues are $40 (which we don't have to spend on him right now). So we're standing at the numberpadlocked gate, surveying the scene, and an older lady with three dogs asks if we want to come in and try it out! They were the only ones there and she was sweet enough to let us in to play with her terrier Chloe (who thought she was a person), her chow mix, Lucky and her Rott/Aussie Shepherd, Jack (who tried to force himself upon every male dog upon arrival, except Gotham. That's right. He must've sensed that I would've kicked him in his happy little nutsack if he tried to hump my baby.)

Anyway, we weren't there for 10 minutes before another guy showed up with his German Shepherd mix and his Pit mix (Eli and Peyton, respectively) and another older gent came in with his 10 month old Boxer boy, Moses, who was huge. I can't believe how big Gotham's going to get.

Anyway, he had a blast. Mostly with Eli & Moses, even though they were considerably bigger and stronger. By the time we left, he was panting and exhausted and happy and homeless-looking. I mean, COVERED in dirt and hay and LOVING it.

So I walked my little mongrel home and stuck him straight in the tub. He smells like chamomile and flowers now, and he's out cold behind me on the couch. It's been a good day. :)

Odd Jobs McGee

I feel like I have pet goat.
This dog will eat anything that isn't nailed down.

I also feel like I have an occupational identity crisis. Whenever I see people who seem to be enjoying their jobs? I want to do that. Today we had a huge group of elementary school students come into the Arch and I was like "Maybe I should try to be a teacher." But I wouldn't want to teach elementary school, I'd want to teach high school English... at least I'm pretty sure.

I think some part of me thought that after I got married, I'd discover what I'd been unable to pin down since I graduated from college-- that elusive Thing I Want To Do With My Life. But it hasn't happened. I don't mind telling people what I do for work now. I don't mind telling people what I've done for work in the past. I don't mind telling people what kind of degree I have... but please, oh please...

Don't ask me what I want to Do.

When people ask me that, you want to know what the first 4 things are that pop into my head?
1) Name crayons/nail polish colors/paint swatches.
2) Be the voice of an animated Disney princess.
3) Write and or be in a Broadway musical.
4) Speak Spanish.

I'm serious. I don't know what's wrong with me. Or how to figure it out. I feel like I don't know what my actual tangible dreams are anymore-- well, not the career/work-related ones. For the past few months, I've basically just jumped at whatever opportunities are placed in front of me.

But it's really frustrating, this not knowing what I want. And now that this Goat Dog has frightened all my once friendly muses into hiding, I don't quite know what to do with myself.

I guess I'll keep blogging.

I'm wearing glasses.

Well, I'm wearing frames with no lenses that used to belong to my college roommate. I put them on after I climbed into bed because I had to do a "training exercise" tonight for work. It involved me watching a seven-minute powerpoint and then sending an email.

I'm still wearing them.

I don't know. It just felt very Claire Huxtable to climb into bed and finish my professional business.

But I'm all done now, and since I've got my first full day of "being in charge" tomorrow, I should probably remove my fake specs and get to bed.

There's a lot of hustle on my horizon. I'll tell you about it later. Peace & Buenas noches.

Eh?

Since I'm not facebooking, I just have to say really quick that tonight, while watching the Ice Dancing medal ceremony, I discovered that my husband knows the words to the Canadian national anthem.

You think you know somebody.