This Here Is Real: *Vol. 2

*This might become a series. Or it might not.

Ten years ago this month, my first love asked me to be his girlfriend. It was a really big deal. It was the first tangible step in my "ridiculous obsession with love".

I didn't date until I was 15 and up until that point, I vented a lot of romantic frustration by writing. I made up beautiful, sappy courtships for fictional people. Or I re-imagined characters I'd seen on tv or in movies. I'd pull them out of the boring action stories their creator had placed them in and then tend to their sad, grossly unattended personal lives. I knew it was a parasitic approach to creation, but I wasn't old enough or creative enough to envision and birth an entire world and backstory for it by myself. So I spent years as a borrower—and I had a blast with it.

Sometimes I'd take characters who were already in a relationship and expand it, but other times, all I needed was an inkling that two characters were into each other and that their romantic tension was being neglected—then I'd go crazy.

I wrote stories about Power Rangers and Barbies. I wrote stories for cartoon characters, fictional action heroes, and the stars of my after-school tv shows. They all turned into musicals, sometimes with ice skating. Other times I pulled my favorite characters from one cast and stuck them into another cast. (If I was still into this, it would be like taking the characters from LOST and casting them in Les Mis, but still letting them have their behind the scenes relational drama.) True story. That was my life for years.

You can only imagine my shock, when as a 14 year-old, I discovered that I wasn't alone in this hobby.

Have you ever visited fanfiction.net?

Well… you may not want to. It's kind of ridiculous. And kind of amazing. But it was created for and by people with my same mindset; fans who thought they could do it better. Or fans who were just really bored and liked to write. There are categories on this site for everything; anime, movies, books, songs, tv shows, etc. All you have to do is be a fan and think you know exactly what is missing from some character's life.

For me, that character was the daughter of two heroes that meant a lot to me back in 1998. If you care to fly your freak flag and seek out the story beyond the six Star Wars films, you will find books. LOTS of books. And in them you will find new villains and new planets and new reasons to go to war. You will also find new heroes and weapons and academies on remote jungle moons where aspiring Jedi knights go to be trained. Among them, you will find the daughter of Han Solo and Princess Leia (they actually got married, in case you were wondering). Her name is Jaina. She is stubborn and sassy and extremely brave—exactly how you would expect the daughter of the aforementioned two to be.

In the books, Jaina was usually busy getting kidnapped or being hunted or slaying things and fighting in battles, and that was all great—but I couldn't figure out why she didn't have a boyfriend. So I wrote a story and gave her one. An awesome one who was charming and handsome and rough around the edges. He also happened to be a bad-ass starpilot, a guitar player AND he could dance. Dreamboat.

I worked on that story from the fall of 1998 until the fall of 2002. Even after my raging love for Star Wars died down, I was in love with my characters and I couldn't stop editing their lives. I still have the story. It's over 57,000 words on 190 pages in a word document. It's hilarious and dramatic and schmaltzy. But it's finished-- one of the few complete pieces I have. I don't think I'll ever give it to anyone (else) to read, but I'll also never throw it away. It had its place, served its purpose and it is now permanently archived.

So, there you have it. I wrote fanfic. Now that that's off my chest… onward and upward. :)

P.S. if you have read my fanfic and I still know you, you're one of a very select few (Lauren!). And you better not tell anybody how to find it! :)