A few day ago, I had a little breakdown.
The same feelings I was feeling exactly a year ago returned.
I don't feel like a writer.
I don't feel as though I have a single creative thing to offer right now.
Even things I've loved writing about in the past have been dead to me lately.
I can't shake it-- and it's terrifying.
Not only do I realize my need to redefine myself (by Who I belong to, not what I do) but I need to go back to the Orchid station, so to speak. I need to go back to where I was, or rather, what I was doing, when things were hopeful. When the creative juices were on tap, intoxicating and flowing freely.
I need to open up my iTunes. I need to listen and write what happens.
So, I don't know what I'll be blogging this month. If anything. I've got to start something new-- maybe even finish something for once.
My first attempt is to take an old idea that's always and only been an idea and turn it into-- something. I'm not going to tell you what it is because it might not work and I might change my mind. But if I don't change my mind, maybe I'll let you in on a few pieces as they develop.
Also, can I just say that it makes absolutely no sense to me that I want to write a musical SO badly and I haven't even really tried to do it. That's ridiculous.
It's time for me to stop dreaming and describing and running my mouth and produce something. Or at least attempt to.
So... here goes.
3 comments:
I have absolute faith in you. Absolutely. Can't wait to see what comes out of this time for you. xo
Don't stop writing whatever you do. I enjoy checking here every day to see what you have going on in your world. If you stopped writing I may have to actually come out and hang out with you whether you liked it or not.
Isn't it great/strange how blogs allow us to be friends without ever really connecting? :)
Girl, I couldn't understand you more. Art galleries always help. You should try it!
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