*I'm NOT Gonna Write You A Love Song.

"I'm not gonna write you to stay--
If your heart is nowhere in it,
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas
When I believe that there's a reason to
Write you... a love song...
Today..."
-sara bareilles

Maybe I shouldn't post this.

Probably.

But I'm going to because I need to say it really badly.

I don't know if I'm capable of maintaining whatever it is that drove me to this point...

But I hope I can, because I am just really ready for a change.

A huge, perspective-altering change.

I am absolutely,
incredibly,
emphatically,
apocalyptically,
SICK of having crushes.

I've just had it.

I'm epically tired of liking and/or being attracted to people and having absolutely nothing come of it, save for a few temporary sporadic bouts of butterflies, a shameful amount of minutes spent wondering, and ultimately, one more disappointment that leaves some unfortunate, naive shard of my heart splintered like a snapped popsicle stick.

I'm not even saddened by these occurrences anymore. I'm just pissed.

I'm done! I'm SO done with crushes.

What a waste of time.

Don't ask or wonder who or what put me over the edge because maybe it's a lot of things.... But if you're reading this, you can safely assume/be relieved or disappointed that while I think you're wonderful for a number of reasons-- I do NOT have any romantic feelings for you and I do NOT want to be with you. At all.

Not even **you.

And not anyone else either.

(sigh)

Until the want/need is mutual and not instigated or maintained solely by me?!

I'm out. So don't even bother.

"See you guys... hold my calls!"



* If by chance we just met or you just stumbled upon this blog... be cool. It's not like this all the time.
** Many of you reading did absolutely nothing to provoke this entry. Sorry to catch you in the crossfire. None of this flack is really meant for anyone specific... its just more of an explosion of disgust for my own stupid, redundant naivete.