"I'm feeling very Olympic today..."

I'm snuggling with Gotham and watching the Olympics... I gotta hand it to the winter Olympians. I could never be one. Because in most sports, even if you win? It's still cold. And if you lose/miss a landing/wipeout? Fail AND Cold. Ugh. No thank you.

But I'm really liking Shaun White, he's incredible to watch and his hair is fantastic. The halfpipe is really cool, and the moguls are too! Crazy! I've never seen some of these events before and even though sometimes I feel bad just sitting and watching TV, I keep telling myself that this is a Rare International Event... so I guess it's okay.

Before I settled down tonight, I had a cooking adventure. Todd got me this cool cookbook with short recipes that are healthier versions of menu items at major restaurants. I really like it. Anyway, I was just going to heat up some of the chili I made the other day, but this one recipe caught my eye and suddenly nothing else would satisfy. SO. I threw some vodka sauce (my fave red sauce) in a skillet, simmered it, cracked two eggs in it, swirled the whites and left the yolks whole and let it cook. That's what it said to do.

But. In all of my cooking adventures, I have never actually cooked a fried egg. So after I followed the recipe, I poked one egg too hard and destroyed it. Then I decided I didn't want runny eggs, so I stuck a spatula in there and flipped some of it over.

It looked atrocious.

But I went with it. I toasted some bread, then dumped the whole mess out on a plate and topped it with cracked pepper, a sprinkle of mozzarella cheese, a few bacon bits and some parsley.

And it was delicious :) cleaned my plate.

Oh, and finally, in case you haven't heard, I'm giving up facebook for Lent... so maybe I'll be able to find time to blog during the next 40 days.

p.s. just watched Shaun White's last (gold medal!) run... dude is beastly. U-S-A!!!

Hello Hurricane...

It's tax season. Season of intense frustration and desperate need for trust. From what I've seen so far, it's not going to be pretty. But after listening to my boys sing last night, I've got a strand of hope that I pray will carry me through April 15th.

"I've been watchin the skies...
They've been turnin blood red...
Not a doubt in my mind anymore...
There's a storm up ahead...

Hello hurricane-- you're not enough...
Hello hurricane-- you can't silence my love--
I've got doors and windows boarded up,
All your dead-end fury is not enough,
You can't silence my love."

God has taken care of us this far, I can't stop trusting now... and I feel like I've said that so many times in the past 4 months... but it's true. This hurricane of tax season and newly married finances will pass... in the meantime, I'm gonna try not to let it get me down.

Also, in contrast to my last post, I'd just like to say thank you to switchfoot. It's such a comfort to have musicians you can stand behind in lyric, performance and lifestyle. Those guys have never disappointed me on stage, and their music consistently speaks to me, encouraging me through difficult moments and reminding me of my own dreams-- as well as my need to be forgiven and loved by a Savior.

Jon. Tim. Chad. Jerome. Drew. Thank you for playing quality music. Thank you for staying true to your SoCal roots. Thank you for not saying stupid things on stage, for not saying stupid things in magazines, and for not acting a fool on television. Thank you for not being a "Christian Band". Thank you for being excellent, honest, poetic, passionate musicians who understand that they are broken and in need of God's grace.

Also Jon, thank you for creating Fiction Family and going on tour so I could meet my husband. :)

Go listen to Hello Hurricane, it sounds like the ocean.

Nashvisit.

So I took a little mid-week mini-vacay to Nashville.

I wasn't going to do it, but Kish had already bought us John Mayer tickets, my parents paid for my gas as a birthday gift and my manager at work rearranged my days off, releasing me for Wednesday and Thursday. So off I went, for a whirlwind visit.

It was really cool to go back. Lots of new beginnings happening for lots of dear, dear friends. It was an encouraging, exciting, surreal visit.

Of course this also happened. Which was SO awkward. The whole time he was talking, I was like "WTH, why don't you just say you're sorry?! What's with all the words?" But after reading the sordid interview in its entirety, I realized that I've been wrong about John Mayer. He is not just a super-cocky, incredibly talented musician... John Mayer is-- off. He is a very awkward horse of a very unusual color. The content of the song "My Stupid Mouth"? Probably a daily occurance for him. And not like, "Ooo, I accidentally assumed that girl was pregnant and asked her when she was due." or "Oops I accidentally called you sir and you're a ma'am." When John Mayer opens his mouth, it's like Cyclops taking off his glasses with his eyes open. He just says things and it's like he can't stop AND like he really has no idea what has come out of his mouth until its out. It's crazy. I've never seen anything like it. Mouth diarrhea. When I watched the youtube clip, I realized that the way he apologized is the only way he could apologize. Sad... but I guess at least he addressed it.

I could go on for awhile, but I have to work in the morning. And before I go to work, I have to navigate the Mardi Gras madness. So I'm going to bed. Night!

I think this is becoming a habit...

Today I did a promo at Whole Foods. I wish I made the dough to shop there regularly, what a great store. Everything is beautiful and well-labeled and all the employees wear their own unique hats, caps and headscarves instead of silly hairnets. Also, the dairy department supervisor who helped me today? Was wearing a leather kilt. To work. And it wasn't on a dare, that thing looked very broken in and he wore it like a trusty pair of Levi's. Fun crowd, there at Whole Foods.

Anyway, I stood between a display of dark chocolate and the wine section and sampled Wisconsin and Swiss gruyere cheeses for four hours (thinking of you all along, Ms. Annie P.) It was good times.

I can barely move my right arm because Gotham is sleeping on it. He snores like he has asthma. Or a throat full of angry pygmy wild boars.

I'm also making pulled pork for the first time this week. I got a recipe from a girl who was one of my besties in 2nd grade. Seriously. She found me on facebook and we only ever talk when we're trading comments about LOST. Anyway, she's posted twice about this killer BBQ she made, so I messaged her and asked for her recipe. Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ saus is on the counter in the kitchen and the meat is thawing in the fridge as we speak. Ain't technology grand?

Know what else is in the fridge? Evidence of birthday. First, Shauna (my friend at work) surprised me the day before with a little chocolate cake with buttercream icing. Then, on birthday morning, Whitworth made me a tub of delicious brownies. Birthday afternoon, one of the grandfatherly park rangers presented me with his famous homemade strawberry cheesecake. And birthday evening, after our fabulous steak dinner, my sweet husband gave me an awesome chocolate peanut butter gourmet cupcake with a candle in it and sang to me. There's more sugar in this house right now than an entire summer's worth of red Kool-Aid. I'm okay with it. :)

Twenty-Six!

-First of all, I'm turned 26 today. :) I'm now closer to 30 than 20. Crazy!!!

-Sitting on the couch this morning, I'm realizing for the first time how thin our walls are. Our neighbor, Dave, travels for work and he's never home. But when he is? I can hear him coughing, and watching movies and talking on the phone, etc. Probably a good thing that he stays outta town.

-We're probably moving out of our place. Relatively soon. Our apartment is lovely, but kinda old and problematic and expensive for all its quirks... we think it's time to go. We found a cute 2 bed/1 bath apartment in Benton Park for $225 cheaper than we're paying. But it has brand new wood floors, which makes the owners nervous about Gotham... pray they might find it in their hearts to give him a chance. :)

-There's a ranger who works at the Arch who has worn a surgical face mask every single day since I have started working there. I don't know what he's trying not to catch or release-- but that mask is straight up creepy. I mean, he's a perfectly nice man, and yesterday he told me he really liked my haircut... but the mask needs to go.

-Todd made me breakfast in bed this morning. He replicated my favorite breakfast from my favorite cafe in St. Louis. The meal there is called "McGrittl This!" and it's basically a giant pancake, topped with scrambled eggs and sausage, and then another giant pancake. And he made it! All by himself!!! But he used ham instead of sausage, which I like even better. THEN? He brought it to me on a "tray" (read: red cutting board) with orange juice and syrup. In bed. And sang Happy Birthday to me and then turned on The Cosby Show.

I LOVE my husband.

Snippets.

-Met a Park Ranger with the last name Cluck today. (my very first bf's last name) But he wasn't from Texas and says he doesn't have any family there.

-Got a new story idea. It's slow starting, but I think I like it.

- My dog's new favorite things: frozen carrots and sitting on the couch like a person with his feet in the air.

-I hate paying to park almost every time I go to work. So ridiculous.

-I hate being in debt. So ridiculous. We actually have to contemplate whether or not Gotham gets to be in the Mardi Gras pet parade because it costs $10 to enter. We is po'. At least we are right now.

-Does anyone have a bomb recipe for making pulled pork? Holler at me.

-SO glad LOST is back. So glad LOST is ending.

Down to Business.

A few day ago, I had a little breakdown.

The same feelings I was feeling exactly a year ago returned.

I don't feel like a writer.

I don't feel as though I have a single creative thing to offer right now.

Even things I've loved writing about in the past have been dead to me lately.

I can't shake it-- and it's terrifying.

Not only do I realize my need to redefine myself (by Who I belong to, not what I do) but I need to go back to the Orchid station, so to speak. I need to go back to where I was, or rather, what I was doing, when things were hopeful. When the creative juices were on tap, intoxicating and flowing freely.

I need to open up my iTunes. I need to listen and write what happens.

So, I don't know what I'll be blogging this month. If anything. I've got to start something new-- maybe even finish something for once.

My first attempt is to take an old idea that's always and only been an idea and turn it into-- something. I'm not going to tell you what it is because it might not work and I might change my mind. But if I don't change my mind, maybe I'll let you in on a few pieces as they develop.

Also, can I just say that it makes absolutely no sense to me that I want to write a musical SO badly and I haven't even really tried to do it. That's ridiculous.

It's time for me to stop dreaming and describing and running my mouth and produce something. Or at least attempt to.

So... here goes.