"I Can't Fight This Feelin Anymore..."

Can I just say this?

I don't think I'm going to be able to write anything else until I come clean...

I'm jealous. Straight up chartreuse with envy.

Mostly of Annie Parsons and Joey Halbert.

Annie & Joey.

I have a raging crush on your commentary.  It's raw and delicious as high-grade sushi. Unabashedly personal, comforting, familiar but fresh. You are the Chuck Taylors on the shoe rack of the blogging world (Annie, you are red high-tops. Joe, you are black low-tops that you don't have to untie to put on.) For me, your everyday vignettes read like an incredible b-sides album of a favorite artist. Or like really good steak that doesn't need any sauce at all. Sure, you could argue that it's just meat. Maybe not even a lot of it. But the pieces you get are enough to make you get up and bear hug the chef. I can't even describe how proud I am to have you both as friends, even though as a writer, you both you frustrate the hell out of me. :) And I admire both of you so much for your gifts. So much so that I can't even express myself without a bunch of ridiculous similes and metaphors. *sigh*

So... there you have it.

Also, Sara Bareilles just came on this acoustic radio station and I'm jealous of her too. Because she plays piano. Just awesomely enough to be powerful, while still maintaining the approachable girl next door vibe.

I am SO frustrated right now. 

But it's a good thing. Just irritated enough to go write something? Maybe?

Or sulk. Just for a few more minutes.

Apology.

I don't know when I got so terrible at this.

But it's really sickening.

I can't even begin to describe my life over the past... few weeks, in detail.

I wouldn't even know where to begin.

Do you want to know mundane things? Like how our executive chef at work is obsessed with the newest Akon record, and subsequently plays it on repeat at the restaurant (in the back kitchen) and when he's not creating the base for culinary masterpieces, he's dancing around the dish room like a wild man, flicking the lights off an on like a strobe while singing in his cajun accent at the top of his lungs?

Or maybe about my automobile drama... like how my muffler ripped apart from my tailpipe yet again and I took it back to the mechanic (who remembered that I didn't have any money LAST time I came to see him) and he welded it back together for the... 4th time? As long as I promised to come back to him eventually when it's time for a new muffler. Also, I rented a car(08 Hyundai Elantra Sedan. So comfy.) to drive to St. Louis, picked it up too early, and because of Hotwire's stupid contract rules, had to have it *back by 2pm instead of 5pm or else pay 88 extra dollars. And how, gripped by this fear of throwing away hard earned money, I drove in the rain, at an ungodly rate of speed through part of Southern Illinois, got caught by a state trooper in a speed detail trap and saddled with a warning and a big fat **citation. 

What I Learned: 

1) Don't speed in Illinois. 

2) Or maybe just-- don't speed. 

3) Cruise control is your bff.

4) I think maybe I have Highway Claustrophobia.

5) Or maybe I just do not have enough self-discipline to handle a V6 engine.

Or would you like to know about some more important things? Like the fact that my roommate, who has been away on a cruise ship since August, is back in town for a little while, but will soon be making her rounds to Texas and then moving (for at least a year) to NYC? Or that one of my best friends is nearing the shoot date of his first original short film noir and that he built an entire kitchen in his living room in two days? Or that a little less than 2 weeks ago, I flew to Texas for the weekend with my boyfriend, because he wanted to meet my parents? And that the entire weekend was so fast and jam-packed and exciting and delicious and-- near perfect?

Is that more interesting?

Or do you want to hear me ramble about pop culture and current events? Mmmm, trust me. You don't. I'm a tic out of the loop. I've been very confused about the tax day "tea parties" and had no idea what they were until today. I'm glad that North Carolina won March Madness because it makes my work bff really happy. I JUST heard Britney's newest anthem for bi-curious promiscuity for the first time the other day (I make my own mixtapes. Too much Britney and Katy and Lady Gaga and Akon and Soulja Boy make my head hurt). I haven't been to the movies in ages, and I JUST saw the trailer for Star Trek for the first time today. I am not a Trekkie... but I am SO going to see that in the theatre. It looks incredible.

But I am still watching LOST. Because it's the best show on television. And I'm FINALLY caught up with Chuck! Like, I could watch the new episode on Monday! (It does come on Monday, right?) I LOVE that show. And the storyline is getting so good! Except that Chuck and Sarah make me crazy. And somehow, I JUST figured out this week that Jayne Cobb and John Casey are the same person. Which makes it that much more amazing.

Or maybe I should just tell you how God is amazing. Creative Genius. He's orchestrating everything in my life right now SO much better than I ever could. I have-- only some idea of what the next 6 months are going to look like... not to mention the fact that I've been forced to pay the government (state and federal) $1200 over the past two days. BUT... it's all good. :) He's ALWAYS provides. And He sets the stage perfectly for every scene because he's the most amazing storyteller you'll ever meet. Oooo, its gonna be good. :)

Oh and also, I bought chocolate syrup at the store today. For the first time in years. That was exciting. :)

~jules

*I got it back by two. Hooray.

**I just found out this morning that my ticket is only $105.00. I couldn't believe it. I was SPEEDing, y'all. But it was a small town. And for $75 more, I get 90 days of "court supervision" (read: probation) while driving in Illinois, and if I stay ticket free, it doesn't turn into points on my license AND they keep it hushhush from my insurance company. Oh AND since I'll be under court supervision, I also won't have to drive 4 hours to appear in traffic court in Southern Illinois. Praise the Lord.

Don't Ask Me That, Please...

Outside of the medical fields, does anyone really know what they want to be when they grow up?

And did anyone actually go to college for it?

Writer. Model. Actress. Casting Director. Photographer. Author. Singer. Dancer. Wife. Mom. Playwright. Marine Biologist. Dolphin Trainer. Barista. Waitress. Camp Counselor. Superhero. Graphic Designer. Crayon Namer. Nail Polish Namer. Paint Swatch Namer. Babysitter. PR Queen. Band Manager. Talent Scout. Ad Designer. Magazine Editor. Bounty Hunter. Pirate. Restaurant Manager. Singing Voice of an Animated Character. Journalist. Pilot. Jedi Knight. Rockstar. Teacher. Poet. TV News Anchor. Translator. Social Worker. Song Writer. Event Planner. Artist. Graphic Novelist. Fashion Designer. Chef. Makeup Artist.

I have aspired to all these things. Some of them still stand. 

But where to go now?

In so many ways, I feel like I'm back to square one.

Firsts This Week

• Went to the Nashville NKOTB Reunion concert.

• Met Jordan Knight and Donnie Wahlberg.

• Made a trade on swaptree.com.

• Laid out at the pool for an hour.

• Worked the monthly Vanderbilt Dinner all by me onesie.

• Did squats. (I hate that word.)

• Listened to The Wood Brothers.

• Drank a Full Moon Ale with an orange in it.

• Got Coldplay tickets for June!

• Ate (a bite of) pistachio ice cream.

• Waited on 3 six tops and 2 two tops, simultaneously without losing my mind.

• *Woke up to a crazy Aussie man sleeping on cushions on my "lounge room" floor.
  

*Not the first time. But the first time in a year and a half, so it counts. :)

Confessions

I've got a weakness for country music on sunny days. And not even good, solid, old school country music. Rascal Flatts.

I dilute my drinks a lot. I don' t really know why. Maybe I think if I add water to them, it will make them less sugary/carbonated/caffeinated and therefore healthier? Because water makes everything healthier? I only do this at home. Probably to avoid going grocery shopping as often. Plus, sometimes, I only use like 7 taste buds, so watered-down-ness doesn't even faze me.

Post-dinner, between the hours of 7:30pm and 9:30pm tonight, I ate six pieces of buttered toast.

I'm gradually becoming a Sawyer/Juliet fan... Sawliet? Julyer? LaFleuliet? Yes. I like that one. :)

I've been drinking tap water. I'm not proud of this. But it's so convenient. Plus, there are like a billion people in the world who don't even have tap water to drink. So I shouldn't complain.

I've been reading Angelina Jolie's journal about her travels to Asia, Africa and South America in conjunction with the UN Commissioner for Refugees. She was 25 when she became a Goodwill Ambassador.

I don't have a problem with boy dogs, but I'd rather not own one. Also, I'm not a fan of curly-haired dogs. I think they look sort of ridiculous. So far, I think Jiggs is the only exception to these rules.

I love brushing my teeth with baking soda. Just baking soda. So simple, so effective. Every now and then, I'm allured by some shiny gel or oddly-flavored paste... but baking soda doesn't hide behind designer packaging. It just freshens your mouth like a champ and does not ask questions or stick around to cuddle afterwards. Hit it and quit it. See you in 12 hours. Bad form for a relationship-- excellent form for toothpaste.

Good Things

-Two Chik-Fil-A chicken biskits for breakfast.

-Keaton Simons' song, which I bought yesterday, contains these lyrics:

"You are my Undertow... caught in a Riptide... and I am Currently in love with you."

I love the ocean. And blues. And love songs. Triple threat, right here. It's called "Currently".

I listened 3x before work. 

-Bypassed the Shell station ($1.82) in hopes of cheaper gas down the road. Found gasoline right next to work, for $1.79. Filled the tank. When I left for lunch? It had gone up to $1.89. Triumph.

-Got to work on time. Early even.

-Bobby Wayne came in for lunch and left me a great tip.

-The sight of my newly nearly-black hair is still a bit shocking-- but I like it.

-Plane ticket purchased for under $400.

-Many sweet calls and messages from friends.

-81 degrees.

-Ate a big ol' BBQ Pork sandwich for lunch.

-Pre-dinner line up outside, in the midst of the glorious 81 degree-ness.

-Spent majority of dinner shift laughing at Vinny and/or looking at sexy furniture.

-Reheated delicious leftovers that I cooked yesterday and ate them for dinner.

-New issue of Real Simple came in the mail, so I won't be real bored at work tomorrow.

-Talked to my ridiculously handsome boyfriend on v-chat. And even though he tried to stir up some sauce, and make me mad-- he danced his way out of it. ;) Won't be the last time, I'm sure.

-New facewash.

-New mixtape for the car tomorrow.

-Going to sleep sans big comforter and with the windows open.

-My Hero, no longer bound by a broken body, met Jesus earlier yesterday morning. Finally, she is whole. And home.

Sassy Giraffe

I worked a wake at the restaurant yesterday afternoon. The mother of the very first chef Tom ever hired had passed away. Her friends and family explained throughout the afternoon that she was very proud to be half Cherokee and back in the day, she had been a Vegas entertainer who maintained a reputation for being the mother hen over all the cocktail waitress showgirls. She allegedly once slapped Sammy Davis Jr. for grabbing one of the girls asses.

Anyway, this woman left a lot of stories and a lot of porcelain dolls behind. Her ashes were "displayed" in a black box, within a glass box, surrounded by a bunch of candles and dolls dressed up like Native Americans and biker chicks. There were also various dreamcatchers and other woven Native American things draped around the Blue Room.

Anyway, her son Dirk, was terribly nice and wonderously composed in light of the situation. Actually everyone was very composed. Most of the friends and relatives were very kind as well, even if they really took advantage of the "open" bar. (Tom, who owns Saffire as well as TomKats Catering, paid for everything.) But, like every family (I mean I think they were family?), there were a few who were just a bit... off. Just enough to keep the afternoon interesting.

For example… yes, wear black to a wake. But a plunging black v-neck dress with a GIANT blingy rhinestone brooch set just below the Girls, who appear to be one sudden movement away from making an inglorious guest appearance? Not so much.

One group in particular was very... colorful. At first glance, I guessed they were Hispanic, but when one of the women (she looked around 20) asked me what pico de gallo was, and utterly butchered the pronunciation, I was inclined to think otherwise.

I also think kids are pretty awesome, so when this one little 12 year old girl went ambling through the restaurant like a baby giraffe in giant heeled, suede boots that were clearly not her usual choice of footwear, I kind of smiled adoringly and looked at her like she was—well, a baby giraffe.

But when I got to the table and the baby giraffe copped an attitude with me because she hated the buffet we'd provided and wanted instead another Sprite and steak well done with some French fries? I may have accidentally looked at her like she was a baby cockroach running across my kitchen counter.

I really don't have a problem with customer service OR the restaurant business. In fact, I'm largely fascinated by people and their quirks. But I cannot suffer bitchy children. That is just WRONG. And her mother was sitting right next to her, trying to be her friend instead of telling her, "No! This restaurant is not your own personal kebab van and Juliette is NOT the kebab van genie, indentured to grant your every wretched culinary wish."

OOOO. Not. Right. (sigh)

I mean, I got them some Coke and some French fries. But I made 'em wait. I served all the grown ups first. Don't try to get saucy with me, giraffe, you will make the crazy come OUT.