O Tannenbaum of Misfit Toys

It's Christmastime, y'all!

I love Christmas traditions. Today, I decorated our tree while listening to the same vinyl that my mom and I used to listen to while decorating the tree when I was 5 years old. (Merry Christmas Johnny Mathis, if you're wondering.) It trips me out that our kids will hear and know those same songs someday. And now that I'm a grown up, I've begun a few traditions of my own, one of which, I'd like to share/confess with you today.

As my college and Nashvillian roommates can attest, I collect hideous Christmas ornaments.

It started in college with a tacky Christmas ornament exchange that spawned in me a rabid enthusiasm for sad, tired, busted looking ornaments. Now, every year after Christmas, I go hunting for new additions to my menagerie of misfit ornaments.

Allow me to introduce you to a few of my favorites:

Brego, the stick horse (He needed a kingly name. He's my favorite. But don't tell the others.)

Levar, the bedazzled butterfly.

Jojo the Circus Bear (you can't tell here, but his right leg is just a bit too short to reach that unicycle pedal.)

Scarebear (crudely crafted and permanently affixed to a single snowshoe)

Sonic, the pinecone hedgehog.

Santa Snake- one of my originals from the tacky ornament exchange listed above.  He may have once been only a shrunken head sporting a fancy holiday hat. He is now a parsel-mouthed transfiguration gone frightfully wrong.

Sexy Strawberry didn't make the tree this year. The manface is just too awkward.

Count Flatley- his feet flail about as if independent from his body! (Also, his middle opens up and you can put some kind of ghastly treasure inside...)

Roadkill- I don't know how this guy made it into the store y'all. It's supposed to be a cat chasing a mouse. I  bought it from Marshalls about 3 years ago. 

Leggy Pup- Also did not make this tree this year. You guys want to name this one? Shoot me some options.

Also-- a lost ornament that deserves a mention: 

Gilded snowman was a thin 2-D metal snowman, painted on one side to look like a traditional snowman. The paint job was evidently horrible because the artist then doused the paint with glue and dipped the snowman's facade into a vat of tiny gold beads, then crudely wrapped the snowman three times with gold wire. I don't know what happened to it, but I've never seen its equal... and I still hold out hope that it will turn up someday.

Trimming the tree with my misfit ornaments has become an annual delight, with more creatures being added to the "family" every year. I can't wait to show them to my kids. We may eventually have a separate, smaller tree exclusively for the Misfits. 

I've become more fond of the weird, shoddily crafted ornaments (Scarebear, Sonic, etc.) than the just plain weird ones (Pup and Strawberry). But all are welcome. So in your decorating, if you come across anything super weird that you're embarrassed to put on your tree, or encounter some hideous beast in your post-christmas shopping trips and you want to add to the collection, I'd be glad to give them a good home. :)

What's your favorite holiday tradition?