8 days...

I've realized that these blogs on the days leading up to my wedding are more for me than the blogosphere, so thank you for enduring them on your Reader or RSS Feed or whatever...

So we're 8 days out now...

For me, today was all about the bigness-- the magnitude of what's about to happen. The idea that I'm about to take part in this ritual, this tradition, this grand, timeless procession that billions of people have recreated in a billion different ways for ages and ages... the fact that I'll soon be adding to their numbers is not small potatoes to me. This event is not just for show; it's not just a schpiel of pretty liturgy to spout off and make things official... This is epic. This is forever! I mean for me-- for us-- it is. This is a really huge deal. Its the second biggest decision of my entire life; a decision that will shape the rest of my life, and has already reshaped it in many ways.

And I'm so excited. :)

I can't believe it. I can't believe that this thing I've dreamed and wondered about and longed for since I was about 6 years old is about to become a very raw and uncensored reality. I've realized over the past 9 months that this relationship, in every facet, is exactly what I want-- but in many ways, entirely different than what I expected. Yet no part of me is disappointed. I think I'm more shocked by how beautiful this entire journey with Todd has been, and that even after all my daydreaming, I never thought to imagine it this way.

I'm so grateful that God knows me better than I know myself, knows what I want and NEED even more than I do. I'm so glad he wouldn't let me stay comfortable in a place I didn't belong, with a person I didn't belong to. I'm so grateful, for ALL the heartbreak, really. Because without it, I'd still be there. In one of those places. Without Todd.

I'd have missed out on SO much.