Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"Oh, Make Me Wanna Holla, The Way They Do My Life..."

I'm sorry. I kept my mouth closed at work, but I have to say this here:

If you go to a nice restaurant for dinner, and purchase two bottles of expensive chardonnay, two salads, two appetizers, a pasta dish and a steak, totalling $160.00 and you leave a 4% tip (that's $5.00, folks)-- you will ruin your server's entire evening.

If it happened to be slow night in the restaurant anyway, and you sit on your ass in her section, wasting her life long after the restaurant is closed, and purchase the items listed above and leave a 4% tip ($5.00!) you will ruin your server's entire evening.

Being old and senile and insane is NOT an excuse. (If you are-- please, eat at home. Or at Shoney's. No, don't even do that to Shoney's.)

There is NEVER an excuse for a 4% tip at a nice restaurant when your server did everything she could to ensure your happiness. In fact, by tipping $5.00 on $160.00, (especially if your server had a long, boring night and is feeling slightly irrational) you may very well also endanger your server's life. Because you will make them so irritated that they will speed home, turning right on red without slowing down, and rolling though stop signs, without wearing a seatbelt because they can't do anything else to spite you.*

(sigh)

Okay, all better.

*It was a very short drive, 6 minutes tops, through downtown Franklin. I passed maybe three cars. Not saying it was smart, but-- whatever.

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