ONE WEEK FROM TODAY...

Yesterday I woke up at 8:00. I immediately got sucked into my wedding to do list, and therefore accomplished quite a bit before 10:30am. Felt good. Sold my last piece of craigslist furniture too. I was down to the black nightstand... but I got two hits on it yesterday morning and was so eager to have it gone, I delivered it to the first person who offered me $20.Yesterday was also my last day of work at Saffire. Extremely memorable. I've participated in far too many "farewells" for it not to have been. I was a little surprised at everyone who got in on it though! Impressive. They managed to find my car, even though it has Texas plates and I parked it at the studio instead of the restaurant. They stole my keys, drove it over and then proceeded to drench in it chocolate syrup, bleu cheese biscuits, flour and toilet paper.

The back of the car says "Bye Bye Now" which is one of our bartenders most beloved catchphrases. Excellent job kids. :)

I made Vinny come with me to the car wash across the street and I hosed it all off so I could drive home safely. But at the end of the night, when i thought surely it was all over and they were tired of cleaning things up... Vinny smashed an entire pastry bag of whip cream into my face. It went in my nose. INSIDE my nose.

I felt loved. :) It was a good day. I'm gonna miss that place. :)

8 days...

I've realized that these blogs on the days leading up to my wedding are more for me than the blogosphere, so thank you for enduring them on your Reader or RSS Feed or whatever...

So we're 8 days out now...

For me, today was all about the bigness-- the magnitude of what's about to happen. The idea that I'm about to take part in this ritual, this tradition, this grand, timeless procession that billions of people have recreated in a billion different ways for ages and ages... the fact that I'll soon be adding to their numbers is not small potatoes to me. This event is not just for show; it's not just a schpiel of pretty liturgy to spout off and make things official... This is epic. This is forever! I mean for me-- for us-- it is. This is a really huge deal. Its the second biggest decision of my entire life; a decision that will shape the rest of my life, and has already reshaped it in many ways.

And I'm so excited. :)

I can't believe it. I can't believe that this thing I've dreamed and wondered about and longed for since I was about 6 years old is about to become a very raw and uncensored reality. I've realized over the past 9 months that this relationship, in every facet, is exactly what I want-- but in many ways, entirely different than what I expected. Yet no part of me is disappointed. I think I'm more shocked by how beautiful this entire journey with Todd has been, and that even after all my daydreaming, I never thought to imagine it this way.

I'm so grateful that God knows me better than I know myself, knows what I want and NEED even more than I do. I'm so glad he wouldn't let me stay comfortable in a place I didn't belong, with a person I didn't belong to. I'm so grateful, for ALL the heartbreak, really. Because without it, I'd still be there. In one of those places. Without Todd.

I'd have missed out on SO much.

9 Days...

This is the story of a girl...

Who spent the entire day emailing and texting and calling and facebooking about loose ends concerning her wedding. Then she did laundry and changed her mind/was forced to rethink about a million wedding details... like the music... the food... and the venue for the rehearsal dinner. At work, she ate some pasta and some shards of key lime pie and a lot of butterfly crackers and watched in disbelief as only 8 tables were sat in the restaurant the entire night. She came home to an even emptier house (now minus one roommate), watched LOST, took out the trash, ate a Reese's peanut butter cup and talked to her fiance until he fell asleep, exhausted from working 8 hours and then moving her furniture all over their house.

After a 2am shower, i'm calling it a day. And praying I have a few more things nailed down in the morning.

10 Days To Go...

The goal today was to get my stuff outta this apartment. And it (mostly) happened. All of my furniture is gone; my sweet fiance drove 6 hours in a box truck with his Dad down to load up all my stuff, and then drove BACK 6 hours, on the same night. THEN they unloaded everything, up 2 flights of stairs!

Such a sweet man.

I also picked up my wedding dress today. It looks amazing! You'd never guess we bought it as a sixe 10, Joy is a miracle worker. I think I probably shouldn't eat anything before i try to put it on...

I also sold my bookshelf on craiglists today. Nice to have an extra twenty bucks to put towards catering...

And I'm sleeping on an air mattress tonight. Well, for the next 7 days. And it's calling my name...

Um...

I'm getting married.

In three weeks. Well, less than that now.

This time in three weeks, I'll be in Mexico. With my husband.

Skitch... how did I get here?

A year ago? This was not in the "plan". This wasn't even close to the "plan". Church planting? Pastor's wife? St. Louis?! What?!

Yet somehow, in a very short time, the Lord has worked things out to where* they make perfect sense. And I can honestly say that there isn't a trace of fear in my heart about the life-uprooting decision I've made.

My current fear is concerning the schematics of the yet-to-be-located/borrowed sound system... but I'm sure someone qualified will quell that in the next week or so.

There are seven bridesmaids gifts on my floor.

There are six days until my last wedding shower in Dallas.

There are five leaf curtains hanging on various walls of the living room. (2 more to go...)

There are four appetizers to confirm for the menu by next week.

There are three pairs of shoes by the door to take to goodwill before I move to St. Louis.

There are two red shoes under the windowsill.

There is one cathedral length veil (and a pretty, handmade toss bouquet!) in a bag in the corner of my naked-walled room.

It's all happening...

:)

*yes, I know I said "to where". it's 2:07am-- Sheryl... I. Do. Not. Care.

p.s. remember when Hayden Panettiere was little? and Sheryl?! Aww... :)

Addendum to My Posse

Zach Levi, you're out.

Phylicia Rashad. You're so in. I'm sorry I forgot about you.

(Sam you can stay... if you make us dinner.)

*And That Is Precisely Why I Don't Watch Horror Movies.

To this day, every single time I turn on the garbage disposal, I think about Hayden Panettiere looking curious and forlorn and sticking her hand into it.

I'm not disgustingly morbid. It's a scene from an episode of the first season of "Heroes"; when Claire is still morosely attempting to figure out the extent of her healing abilities and subsequently repeatedly attempting suicide or something terrifyingly close to it.

Her attitude during that era of the show always freaked me out. Sometimes, weird things stick in my mind and get under my skin... moments like that. And I don't wanna remember them, but I do. Sometimes for a very long time. It's kind of disconcerting.*

p.s. and speaking of horrible things that freak me out... the movie Seven Pounds. Hated it. I need to see Will Smith in something cool and heroic and redemptive in the very near future to make me forget about it.