Food Diary*

*There are **a million very important stressful things happening all around me. For my own rest, this entry is not about any of them.

Today I bought 2.5 pounds of homegrown tomatoes for $3 from the tomato stand in the Big Lots/Bank of America parking lot.

Then I went to Publix (my favorite grocery store) and bought supplies to make my mama's famous lasagna (for a friend who recently had a baby) and ground turkey for a new recipe I found on realsimple.com.

Also, a pint of Blue Bell Cookies & Cream. Because nobody does it better.

Came home, made a full pan of lasagna. Seven layers, i believe.

Then made turkey meatloaf with fresh chopped spinach and parsley and onions in it (cried my eyes out too until I found a candle to burn off the sting!), baked it in my cute purple loaf pan, then made some whole wheat couscous and green beans.

Then made some homemade marinara to top the meatloaf. First batch was great-- except my Magic Bullet accidently chewed up the rubber gasket that keeps the blade attachment from leaking. So my sauce was full of chopped up plastic. Fortunately, I realized this before I poured it on the meatloaf and chowed down.

So I made new sauce (fortunately it was VERY easy), assembled everything and sat down to dinner with a Mark Driscoll podcast.

I'm delighted to say that dinner was a raging success. And also, that Blue Bell truly is the best ice cream in the country. :)

**The bridal meltdown is over and my wedding is no longer a horribly stressful thing. Praise the Lord for my wonderful parents, my amazing in-laws, my supportive friends and my loving patient, pragmatic hubs-to-be. :)

Hate Song

Today I am frustrated.

I'm convinced that weddings are for rich people on Bravo and TLC. Or people who come from old money. Or people who sell drugs. Or people who have been saving for a year (or years) to plan their weddings. I GROSSLY underestimated the financial burden of pulling off a farewell party/wedding in 4.5 months.

Also. College. College is for rich people. Or really poor people who qualify for scholarships. Or really really driven people who want to be doctors and lawyers and computer programmers and can subsequently make over $100,000 a year and pay off their loans in like 2 years.

College and weddings are not for bohemian storytellers with wild, romantic visions who marry super-engaging pastors and attempt to merge both of their enormous social circles-- and feed them-- inside the lobby of a music school.

I love marriage. I love my fiance. And education is so very important.

But I hate money. I hate student loans.

And today, I hate weddings.

Decisions, decisions...

Quandary:

Red is my signature color... so why have I opted out of red as an accent color in my wedding?

I'm pretty sure this is directly related to my experience as a graphic design student, sitting through countless student presentations that utilized black, white and red as a design staple and thus wo' it out.

But... I was talking to my roommate last night and she actually presented this question. The more I think about it... the more I'm thinking I'm about to change my mind again... I mean, I love the coppery orange color I originally chose, but... it's hard to match... and it doesn't exactly pop against black and white the way red does...

I don't want to be cliche and have red roses... but maybe I sort of do??? We're already merging two styles (my dress is classic and my girls are wearing black cocktail dresses, but the groom and his men are wearing Jack Purcells with their suits). Maybe a classic color is a better way to blend the two than a trendy, less vibrant color? I can't just use orange either, because even though i like orange, we're getting married way too close to Halloween to deal with that. I'm not putting black plastic spider rings on my reception tables.

Raaawr.

On a completely different note, this morning, I was heading out to Starbucks for a drink and a pastry when I spied a box of Krispy Kreme donuts on our kitchen counter. I deliberated.

"Paying for the Starbucks pastry would cost more, but it'd be healthier because the one I want has berries in it. Never mind the copious amounts of fat and sugar..."

My wallet snarled at me.

So I'm sitting at the table in Starbucks now with an iced tall green tea at my side and two donuts in my tummy. My inner future-family-meal-planner alter ego is shaking her head. My inner fat kid is very happy. I'll eat some fruit with my lunch.

Teef.

A little while ago, I was brushing my teeth and realized that I was singing "Cotton-Eyed Joe" in my head... and brushing my teeth to the rhythm.

I also realized that once I have dental insurance, I'm gonna need to get my wisdom teeth pulled. Ask me how excited I am about that.

But for now? All is well. :) And tomorrow, I'm goin to see my man in STL. Can't wait!

Wild Subconcious

Two nights ago, I dreamed that my friend Philip from work had somehow assaulted one of our younger, female co-workers. (I think I had somehow witnessed or overheard it, but I don't remember any details, it was too early in the dreamstory). I dreamed that I was so angry about it that I cussed him out when he walked in the door and then, for good measure, slapped him in the face a few times, then took off his glasses and broke them and stepped on them, all the while SEETHING that he had hurt "that little girl".

Never mind that Philip is a great dude AND doesn't wear glasses. Nor have I ever seen or heard of him assaulting a woman.

After I battered him for several minutes, Philip walked out the back door of the restaurant and returned five minutes later with a gun. He walked through the restaurant, listless, creepy, dejected, barely aware that he was holding a gun. I saw it immediately, walked out from behind that bar and went straight for him, saying (in a calmer voice now), "Philip, no. No. You can not do this!" I remember knowing that there were other people in the restaurant, back in the dish room, and thinking "I can't let him get us all lined up like hostages behind the the bar. I can't give him that power!" And it wasn't until I was like 2 paces from the gun that I was like "Wait, I can't get shot right now! I'm getting married!"

And I woke myself up. My room was really hot and I my heart was beating out of my chest.

Last night, I had another crazy dream.

That I parked my car, Jade, in a Big Lots parking lot and jumped in someone else's car to ride somewhere. I remember being at a nice hotel, near a window for a moment, but again, I forget the earlier bits of the dreamstory. Anyway, I got back to my car the next afternoon and was shocked and devastated to find that someone had severely vandalized it.

The entire back part of my car was missing. From the edge of the back windshield to the back bumper. There was a rusted metal skeleton its place. My two back tires were gone too. I opened the door, (which was still locked, for some reason) and found the inside gutted. The dash was fine, but the radio was gone and the seats had all been ripped out and replaced with these horrible, ugly, woven brown and banana yellow bucket seats. Whoever ripped me off had been nice enough to "trade seats" with me.

I was devastated. Not because there had been anything of value in my car-- but because it's my car! And I was supposed to trade cars with Todd next week! We can't only have one car!!!

I was SO upset. Bawling. But if I remember correctly, my sweet fiance almost immediately found some kind of black Jeep on craigslist and then gave me his car.

But still... my little Jade... ravaged. It was terrible.

What's up with these dreams?!

106 Days To Go...

So we've been engaged for three weeks now.

And we've really accomplished quite a bit so far! Since June 1st, we have...

• Had my ring sized.
• Located and secured a venue for 10/10/09 in Nashville.
• Chosen the wedding party.
• Used my engagement ring/story/news to avoid a busted taillight ticket AND cell phone overage charges.
• Tried on dresses at 4 different places.
• Got to visit with Mom for a whole weekend!
• Acquired a wedding gown and a veil and shoes.
• Took said gown to be altered.
• Tasted (and opted out of) some very expensive cake.
• Chosen a minister.
• Secured a DJ, a groom's cake, and an invitation designer.
• Pondered wedding reception food and drink options.
• Begun planning a Dallas reception AND an Illinois reception.
• Freaked out about catering costs.
• Stared at hundreds of pictures of orangey-reddish flowers.
• Started marriage counseling.
• Had half the carpet and drywall ripped out of what will be our apartment in STL.
• Memorized my new address (except for the zip code... 63 something...)
• Assembled (and trimmed) a guest list.
• Set up a knot.com website.
• Looked for jobs in STL.
• Chosen a retailer for the bridal party cocktail dresses.
• Overseen the purchase of 4 bridesmaid dresses! Yay!
• Officially registered at Target, Bed Bath & Beyond & CB2.com! (Favorite items? The awesome duvet cover (click "room view" and "3"-- that's hopefully gonna be our bedroom!) and lamps from CB2, the grown and sexy toaster oven from BB&B and PS3/Guitar Hero World Tour from Target... we can dream!)
• Went to see UP with my fiance. Can't imagine growing old next to anyone else. :)
• Changed the time of the wedding from 5:00pm to 6:00pm to 7:00pm and then back to 6:30pm.
• Discussed honeymoon options.
• Considered scrapping every bit of planning in favor of eloping.
• Reminded each other that this is supposed to be fun and that the marriage is SO much more important than the wedding.
• Calmed down and decided that we're still on for 10/10/09 in Nashvegas.

It's been quite a ride. But we're doing well! I'm so grateful every day for God's provision and favor concerning our big day! I'm driving to STL on Sunday to attend August Gate's June preview service and spend a few days in the city... so excited! We're also taking our engagement pics, courtesy of the lovely KBK. I'll keep you posted.

Well, I'll definitely try. :)

Love Story

Okay, well...

First of all...

I'm engaged. :) :) :)

I'd post a picture, but if you read this, you've probably seen them all. But this is my blog, so what the heck?!

I'm engaged to the love of my life. Our first date was January 31st. And on February 6th, I knew I was going to marry him. Now, in just a few short months, we'll jump into a brand new adventure together... and I could not be more excited!!! I can't wait to wake up next to him everyday, and walk our dog together, and go to church at AugustGate and find a new job and come home to him every night. God is SO good. SO faithful, even in the midst of my doubts and impatience. He has given me more than I ever planned or imagined for myself. I could spend my whole life thanking Him and it wouldn't be enough.

So sorry I've been away for awhile. It's been a little crazy. :)

More to come... I gotta work in the morning.