Ariel never faced a moral dilemma about whether or not to date Prince Eric based on his religious views. Hell, she dated one dude and got married after like 5 days. There wasn't even time for inter-relationship drama to occur.
Charming didn't have to deal with any of Cinderella's co-workers or ex-boyfriends comin around and gettin in their business. Also Charming wasn't an alcoholic. Nor did he have a gambling problem.
Jasmine didn't have to worry about Aladdin's mother putting words in his mouth or poisoning him against her. Granted, his mom was dead... but there were also no older brothers or sisters or estranged fathers to deal with either.
The Beast had a lot of bad habits... but none of them involved illegal, mind-altering substances.
In fact, none of the Disney princes had ever been married before. None of them had crazy exes or superfluous children lolling about from past failed relationships. They were pristine. And for ranging in age from about 17 to 25, also all appeared to be incredibly level-headed multi-taskers.
Not to mention the fact that they actually went after the women they wanted... and the fact that NONE of them went to university, and therefore NONE of them had to deal with their fiancee's ever-accruing student loans.
Someone should make a fairy tale for now. One where the Princess is 27 and single, still freaking paying off her semester abroad. Trying to live right, but keeps getting caught up in dead end relationships, so she doesn't know how to maintain or even recognize one with true lasting potential. And the Prince is like 32, and divorced. A good guy-- just a little misguided and unmotivated from lack of accountability in his life. But then they meet and they hit it off, and she burns him some cd's and he gets her to quit smoking, and THEN-- after she gets doubtful and tries to leave before she gets hurt, and after he fights past his fear of falling in love-- they have a giant fight, and then there's a giant apology and a fantastic kiss and the last wedding either of them will ever have.
Or something like that.
6 comments:
How the heck did you get to be so freakin funny? So true, so true. I'm thinking maybe the new prince charming should also have a few twists, like maybe a kid or two from the ex-wife, a well-meaning but overbearing mother and a dad who was a good provider but can't express his feelings and doesn't believe in hugs. I don't know, just give me some credit when you draw up the storyboard :)
Hope you're doing well, have a great weekend!
I wish you would blog everyday. :)
Oh my gosh, hi, I'm Greta and Annie told me to read this blog. It's hilarious. I love it. Don't know whether I should hate Disney for getting it wrong... Or the boys.
I would watch that movie. You should write it.
This is a great blog! So true!
You should write that movie, Jules. And star in it. I think it would be a smash hit.
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