Back to December

I think the reason why this song is my favorite on Taylor Swift’s latest album is because it’s the closest thing to a real-life musical I’ve ever aurally witnessed.

In movies and musicals alike, there’s always a scene (or that wish for a scene) with an apology/declaration of love; a chance to say the things you should have said and still would say if only you had the person there in front of you one last time… the monologue that comes out when a character is lucky enough to get a second chance to say how they really feel or say they’re sorry. Everyone just hopes for those kinds of opportunities in real life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in a car and said, “If I could just sing/play this song to/for _____, I totally would.” You know you have too. And then, if you’re in high school, you call the radio station and request that the song be dedicated to a person who is more than likely not listening. If you’re grown, you just make an iTunes playlist and torture yourself with it.

Anyway--the best thing about “Back to December”? Is that that moment actually happens. And if you bought the record, you get to be part of it. Weird, but amazing.

The song lyrics immediately fill your head with a film-worthy montage of images. And you can pretend it’s fake because the people involved are celebrities. Granted, the boy in the song has a second life as a werewolf and the girl singing has a roomful of music awards and is on the cover of EVERY magazine. But the bottom line is that the content of the song is true and actually happened to real people. A 19 year old girl wrote an apologetic song for her ex-boyfriend and it got played on the radio and he heard it. So did a million other people, but that’s beside the point. She talks about specific moments in a real relationship—which is not uncommon for songwriters and their songs—but in this case, you actually know exactly who the people are. And if you can get past the fact that they’re famous and focus on the fact that they’re normal kids—its pretty incredible to listen to, even if it does feel the slightest bit voyeuristic. (But between facebook and reality tv, that feeling of voyeurism is next to normal and barely makes us flinch anymore.)

But, all that to say—flinch! Listen to some extremely personal songwriting, get caught up in it for a moment and let yourself sigh and secretly hope for a moment that someday Taylor & Taylor might get back together.

I did. :)

p.s. I'd post the video, but I don't like the boy who's in it. He isn't even tan. So just listen to the song, don't watch the video.

Say The Words

Even though stories that start with reluctant romance are my favorite-- they are exhausting me right now. I feel like romantic angst and tension is ALL around me as of late (in real life and in the stories I'm immersed in)... and from a story-lover's perspective, I really do enjoy it to some degree...

But man, can somebody just send me a montage of people owning the moment? Of both people saying I love you and then kissing and getting married and living happily ever after and staying married until they die-- of old age-- like in a country song?!

I need to see some happy endings. This kind of crap is what drove me to write fanfiction.

I mean... it's not crap. Not at all. God only knows who I'd be without angsty romance...

But I'm overloaded lately and it's bothering me.

Come on. In the spirit of the new blog... show me something less tragic.

The Girl Who Was On Fire

My second resolution is off to a good start; I finished The Hunger Games today. After we hosted a volunteer training session for a new crop of Morning Reading literacy program volunteers in our living room, my husband granted me the pleasure of indulging in my book for the majority of the day while he sat beside me and watched movies on Netflix. (Well... a movie and some youtube videos) Stopping just momentarily to chitchat with a friend, eat a fried egg sandwich and read a semi-controversial blog post, I blew through it in an afternoon. I'm hooked.

I've made my way through some oppressive fare lately. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry was really well-written and featured both racial oppression and kids battling that injustice. After that, I made my way through the dystopian melodrama of The Handmaid's Tale. It kept building and and building and thought something would pan out-- but then it left me hanging. Utterly unsatisfied. I pushed through till the end and felt cheated.

But. Not so with The Hunger Games. Somehow combining the theme of injustice to children with a dystopian society made for an even more compelling read. It was slightly gruesome and painful at times, but great character & relationship development and riveting internal battles that rivaled the gripping external ones.

When I finished the book, I went into the kitchen to marinate some steaks for lunch tomorrow. But they weren't store steaks, they were butcher steaks, so they were crudely wrapped and when unthawed, rather bloody. It was kinda gross. At any other time, I might have left the meat on the cutting board and asked Todd to come prepare it, but I quickly caught myself thinking, "This animal is already cleaned and butchered. I didn't have to shoot it or field dress it or eat it raw, and no one is trying to kill me. This is NOT a big deal." And I proceeded to cover it in seasoned salt and pepper and worcestershire sauce and A1, rub it all in and stick it in a bowl in the fridge.

I'm not planning to start Catching Fire till Monday... but we'll see what happens tomorrow. :)

2011 To Do List

I know these are dangerous, but I had to write it somewhere... and I like a challenge. :)

1. Re-read Mere Christianity. It's been a couple of years and it's my favorite. It's just time.

2. Read 19 other books. That's less than 2 a month. I started the Hunger Games trilogy today, I'm off to a good start.

3. Make contact with the word of God daily. This one is lofty, but essential. I have the cd's to listen to on my commute, I got a new ESV bible for Christmas, I have a small group and church once a week-- I really have no excuse and I need this. More than anything else. I'm tired of being so undisciplined in this area. My life is never going to calm down, I've got to learn where to fit this in. I've got to make it a priority.

4. Express thanks. Part of Todd's salary includes financial support that we raise throughout the year. We are SO grateful when people choose to partner with us to support August Gate and I want to make a concentrated effort to sincerely and promptly express gratitude when we receive support of any kind.

5. Make guwumpki and invite Tushka & Jeffrey over for dinner. I'm 1/2 Polish, I've eaten it my whole life and realized today I've never made it. It must be done. And who better to critique me than my Polish friends?

6. Memorize (at least part of) the book of Ecclesiastes. Todd is currently memorizing Phillipians using this technique by Tim Keller. I know I could pick a shorter book to start with (and I might), but my reason for choosing to memorize Ecclesiastes is two-fold; Hiding the Truth in my heart AND paying homage to one of my favorite fiction books at the same time.

"Walk carefully. Guard your health. If anything should happen to Harris, you are the Book of Ecclesiastes."
- Granger, to Montag in Fahrenheit 451

7. Finish story arcs one and two. Finish them. Completely. This is a secret-ish project, you'll know more WHEN it's finished. But trust me, it's really cool.

8. Get Gotham certified in Schutzhund 1... or at least through the competition in March.
Todd & Mohammed (dog trainer we met at the park) have been working with Gotham on obedience and protection training for weeks now. He loves it. I'll post a video soon.

9. Cook a never before attempted vegetarian meal and invite my 3 veggie girlfriends over to enjoy it. I love meat. I have to talk myself into eating most vegetables. But I'd like to learn how to make vegetables sassy and able to stand on their own-- even if only this one time. :)

10. Be the best Marketing Coordinator Design Group has ever seen. Relatively easy, since they've never had one before. Technically this is all still hypothetical, since they still have to "officially make me an offer", but we're supposed to be making things official this week or next. I'll let you know.

December Disconnect

So this weekend, one of our friends found out that his brother made a deal with some unsavory dudes and is running a chop shop in his garage in order to pay for the impending birth of he and his wife's first child.

Another friend of ours had a tragedy in the family... and it was heartbreaking, but the tragedy served as the impetus for this person getting away from a small town and finally doing something of consequence.

And yet another friend finally got over his ex and asked this really cute girl out on a date.

At least that's what it feels like.

The truth is that August Gate small groups have been on hiatus for 3 weeks due to the holidays. And during that time, Todd and I have gotten absolutely hooked on Friday Night Lights.

At different points throughout December, all the people we see at least once a week have gone out of town for vacation or to visit family. The two friends we always give rides to got a car for Christmas-- which is great, except now we don't see them as much! And last Sunday, we didn't have church at all because AG is so young that most of our members still travel home for Christmas. I'm also in the middle of my 2nd 4-day weekend in a row-- which is weird, but really nice, since the last 3 weeks of 2010 were a blur of activity and parties/visits/texts/phone calls. All that to say, it's been at least three weeks since we've had schedule normality and consistent interaction with the people whom with we do life.

But during this time, Todd and I have also really been missing our friends, feeling a little disconnected AND being lazy on the couch when time allows... and subsequently, have barrelled through 2.5 seasons of life with the Dillon Panthers. I mean, in the past few weeks, there have been multiple episodes watched each day/night, usually packed with drama. We powered through the lull in season 3 and were so relieved when it got good again. And we couldn't help but laugh last night as we went to bed (around 1:30am, after watching like 4 episodes of Season 4) that it felt like we were trying to bond with these fake people because a lot of our friends are currently out of pocket.

"We should write a blog about it," he said. "About what happens when you get apart from community... how you get lazy and try to connect with other unfulfilling things to fill the void." I thought it was funny and then we fought for a few minutes about who would write it. :)

Jesus set the example for doing life in community. He understood that the Father did not create us to figure out life all alone; He taught us to seek each other out, to do ministry as a team and to love each other constantly. Jesus spent all of his years in ministry surrounded by friends and they experienced all kinds of tragedies and miracles together.

Todd and I are incredibly blessed to have a core of solid, godly people who love us and care about what's going on in our lives and careers and marriage. I'm also so grateful for the women in my life who have held me accountable and encouraged me throughout the years-- "God only knows what I'd be without you..." :) I want to spend the rest of my life continuing to be a part of community in that way.

So I guess, all that to say... keep an open relationship with Tim Riggins (or Jack Shepard... Or Don Draper... or whoever), thank God for your true, flesh and blood friendships and don't neglect to make time and space in your schedule for the people who make your every day life more bearable.

After all, those epic friendships are the stuff all the greatest stories are made of.

"Texas forever?"
"Texas forever."

Boo.

I'm not even going to apologize.

What kind of person calls herself a writer and doesn't update her blog for 4 months?

Me, that's who.

This fall & winter, I've sacrificed some writing time to hang out with real people. And as tough a tradeoff as that occasionally is, it's always worth it. Real life has to trump e-life, you know? And I've still been writing, just not here. I even wrote a couple of bloggy blurbs that I never posted. Maybe I'll still post them.

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be about me apologizing for my impromptu hiatus.

If you haven't noticed (or you're on google reader), I've changed the title/design of this site. Here's why.

When spelling my name out for people, I've gotten into a habit of saying "Juliette-- with two T's and an E. It's less tragic that way." People tend to chuckle, and they don't forget how to spell my name either.

But lately, the more I think about it, the more I want to intentionally live that life. I want to stay married to Todd for a lifetime. I want to have the courage to share the truth of the Gospel with boldness. I want to make time to embrace people and their messiness. I want to have and adopt sweet babies, teach them about Jesus and pray that they grow up into brave, compassionate people. I want to write stories that emphasize redemption and healing. I want to be known for the things I did differently. I want to maintain a higher standard and not apologize for it.

I want to live a life less tragic.

So that's what this year is about. Maybe I'll find time to write about it on this blog.

But if I don't, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. For once.

Cubical Musings

So, following in the footsteps of the lovely Annie Parsons, I am currently working in an office as a Temptress. These are some of the idle thoughts that momentarily take me away from my daily to-do list...

• When I wear heels at work, I use the long open aisle in the warehouse to practice my runway walk/posture. It helps that there's also a huge metal fan at the end of the "runway" waiting to give you model hair just before you walk back into the office.
  
• one of our sales guys is named Joe Fabian. He lives in Reno. I think his name makes him sound like a New York City landlord and when he calls the office, it makes me want New York Style pizza.
• The names of two of our major clients, no lie: French-Gerleman (which I always say in my head with a degrading, fake, male Austrian accent) and Carlton-Bates (which just makes me want to dance).
• My boss's boss's last name is Ripper. Oddly enough I dont' think it's very scary because it reminds me of Jesse & The Rippers.
• Ex-Pirate Band Kids- One of my co-workers totally has the Mr. Davis smile. Hilarious.
• How do people end up with last names like Trout and Fish?
• Speaking of last names... another guy I work with has the last name "DuBuque". Which is supposed to be pronounced "Doob-yook" But every single time I look at it (or him) I say "Doo-boo-qway-qway" (in my head). This is why.
• I spend a lot of time electronically recording our receipt of metal parts. These parts have huge long alphanumeric item numbers. Sometimes the item numbers look like horrible, scary Polish or Welsh words (i.e. KQG2H07N02S). I find myself still trying to pronounce these things as words.
• Checking in orders is more exciting if I pretend I'm checking in droids and engine parts for starpilots and smugglers.
• I like my green pen the best.
• I feel like working at the Arch made me become a mild germophobe out of boredom. I used to clean things with bleach wipes daily just to pass the time (and also because there were upwards of 6000 people walking through there daily in the summertime). Now it's just me at my desk and I'm still using hand sanitizer and wiping things down with Clorox wipes.
• My boss looks like a slightly older Donna from "That 70's Show".
• Good penmanship is invaluable.
• Penmanship is such a great word too. I think it connotates someone with fabulous, ornate handwriting, scrawing their name with a giant, feathery pen. Possibly wearing a powdered wig or large pirate-type hat.
• I hate when I go to use the office IM system and I've left CAPS lock on and IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M SHOUTING OR BEING HATEFUL even if I'm just asking WHERE ARE THE PAPERCLIPS?
• Another last name: Pottorf. I can't ever spell it right. And I think it sounds like a name for a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger villain.
• I don't know what in the world would come out of my mouth when I answered the phone if the company name wasn't plastered in front of me. It's like I forget every time the phone rings. That'll change with time, I hope.
• Todd and I have been re/watching Season 2 of Chuck. The other day, Sarah, the girl who trained me, made a phone call that started like this: "Hi Chuck, this is Sarah over at ControlTech..." I couldn't stop grinning.
• I'm really glad office computer screens don't have talking screens like at the self-checkout at the grocery store. Could you imagine if your computer spoke every button you clicked?
• I seriously adore post-it notes.
• Every time I get one of those crazy invoice numbers with "QB" somewhere in it, I think about Matt Sarazen. And every time I get one with "PYC" or "PY3" somewhere in it, I sing "PYT".

More to come, I'm sure...