Letters

Dear Downy Wrinkle Releaser,

I'd appreciate it if you would stop masquerading as a miracle product behind your trusty label. I am convinced you are nothing but water mixed with a hint of fabric softener.

~juliette



Dear Womens Jr. High & High School Volleyball Outfitters,

Good on you, deciding that six-inch spandex spankies are absolutely neccessary for peak athletic performance of indoor volleyball. Man, what a great idea, selecting the most self-concious, self-obsessed, insecure, competative, mean, and catty sect of people imaginable and parading their various maturing body types around in front of each other AND their sex-saturated schoolmates (not to mention some of their creepy dads, uncles and teachers/coaches) in last season's Victoria's Secret bikini bottoms. You sure know how to punch up game attendance during the competing football season.

~juliette



Dear *Kingston & Paddie,
I'm not gonna lie, you're pretty cute when you're sleeping. But when you're freaking out and snorting and snarling and nipping and growling and yelping and rubbing your slobber-soaked, smashed face all over my son's beautiful coat, I want to punt you across the neighborhood.

~juliette

*you know.



Dear Next Door Neighbor,

You're clearly a little bit Hispanic. But I still can't figure out why you have a Rebel flag flying on a large pole in your front yard. Todd and I sometimes stare out our bedroom window, brainstorming ways to remove it. Our favorite idea so far is via flaming arrow.

~juliette



Dear Season Six of LOST,
I just realized I shouldn't write to you, for spoilers sake... but suffice it to say I'm getting a little frustrated. You've only got like 8 or 9 episodes left and I'm expecting quite a bit out of you. Please don't disappoint me.

~juliette

Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man...

My husband told me that despite our tight budget, we need to go on a hot/interesting date at least once a month. So next Monday, we're going to dinner and then to the Post Secret event at Maryville U in St. Louis. He bought us tickets the other day.

What a mighty good man. :)

Why Jimmy Fallon Is The Best Late Show On TV.

I can't believe this happened-- or that I missed it live!!! Who (with the capacity to pull it off) would even think to do this?! Jimmy Fallon, you made my whole day. I can't even tell you how many of my M.A.S.H. lists contained the name "William James Jones".

Ladies & Gentlemen-- the reunion of the California Dreams!



Thanks for the heads up, Ginger. :)

Block.

I get so motivated and inspired to write... anytime I'm at work.

But when I have the entire day off? I don't know how to organize writing into it. And if by some miracle, I manage to get the dog to sleep and work in some down time? I still can't seem to squeeze out a word.

And lately, I'm also completely unmotivated at night. I can hardly believe I used to stay up until 3am writing things. Lately, when the sun goes down and the breeze gets colder I don't feel like doing ANYthing. I just want to be warm. And prolific.

I'm so ready for summer.

In case you were curious too...

Email address: ladyjuliette06@gmail.com
Message type: other
Comments:
I know this sounds silly... but could someone tell me who names all the different colors on paint swatches? Is that a job in itself, like Color Name Creation & Maintenance? Who's job description does that fall under? I'm very curious. Thank you!

~juliette

Time Sent: 26 Feb 2010 23:24:12 GMT

----

from: painttutor@sherwin.com
from: ladyjuliette06@gmail.com
date: Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 9:42 AM
subject: color names
mailed by: sherwin.com

Hi Juliette,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Sherwin Williams. I apologize fro the delay in my response. I had to ask. Here's the response I received:

Our Color Designers name the colors in addition to designing the layouts of all of our color features. I believe they typically have degrees in Interior Design and/or Art degrees.

Have a great day.

Regards,

Greg

"Hi, this is Viggo..."

I'm not eating chicken and it's dark outside. Today I made a pot roast in a crock pot while I was at work. I ate it for dinner and it was delicious. I also parked my car on the levee today because the levee was dry. And free. Later, Todd got in a car accident. He's okay, but our front bumper got eaten in the collision-- which was NOT, in any way, our fault. Back to Team 1 Auto for us.

Tonight, Gotham actually listened and understood and obeyed me when I told him to go get his toy and lay on his bed. We're sitting together now in front of a dying fire. Also, there's a new girl at work. I like her. And tomorrow, I'll be the new girl at work. Hopefully they will like me.

More on that tomorrow.

Misadventure

Somebody thought it would be a great idea
to eat hot candle wax.

Yes, that is wax, now cooled and crusted, upon his lip.
He's fine. And he only ate a tiny bit, but it also dripped on his head, from the table and it's still there because I can't think of any other way to melt it off than to stick his head in the fireplace.
So there it'll stay.