Shoofly Shenanigans

Two weeks ago I waited on a party of two Southern ladies, aged near 50, who wanted a bottle of wine with dinner.

Well, they thought they did.

We had some summer wines on clearance for really cheap, so after they asked me what we had in terms of white zinfandel, I directed them to the clearance list. More specifically, I directed them toward a lovely, slightly sweet Australian white blend called Shoofly Buzzcut. $13 a bottle, you can't go wrong.

They went for it.  So I bring them the bottle, do my wine service thing and pour a taste for the hostess. Despite their love of *PDW, these ladies appeared to be fairly sweet and respectable and filled with common sense. Which is why I was understandably startled when upon tasting the wine, the hostess uttered, "Well, it's not really very sweet, but we could just put some sweetener in it." 

She was grinning at me... 

Surely you jest, lady. SURELY. You jest.

I laughed it off.

Please tell me why 10 minutes later, this woman has the AUDACITY to flag down one of the other servers and ask for a sugar caddy.

I caught her right in the act, inches from the Sweet & Low and took the caddy right out of MaryKate (the other server)'s hand.

"Ma'am," I began, as Disgusted, Wildly Amused and Bewildered waged a full scale war in my head, "I can bring you a big glass of Sprite and some ice cubes and make a spritzer for you, but this will absolutely ruin your wine."

"Oh... okay, that'll be nice. That's fine."

*smile* "Mmhmm."

I brought them a huge glass of Sprite and another of ice and mixed drinks right at the table. They still barely touched them, throughout dinner. At the end of the meal, they asked to take the rest of the bottle home-- probably to do horrible, ungodly things to the contents.

Never. In my life.

I am NO wine snob.

But NEVER in my life.

And hopefully never again.

Though it is a damn funny story.  :)

*PDW- Pink Disco Wine. Saffire's bar abbreviation for White Zinfandel.