Hi blogoverse. I have a baby now. :)
In preparation for the giant post about my daughter that is coming soon, here is the abbreviated but equally giant version of the daily "journal" I kept for the 12 days before her birth. So you can see the crazy for yourself. :) Enjoy!
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TWELVE: I was sitting in the movie theatre watching The Avengers this weekend and in the middle of the movie, I thought “What if I started having contractions right now? I can’t have this baby tonight! I am super engaged with this movie and I don’t know that I can switch gears and psych myself out to have a baby tonight! I feel so mentally unprepared right now! I can’t watch any more movies until I have her! I can’t be this distracted!”
ELEVEN: At some point in the next 264 hours, I will most likely go into labor and deliver a baby. How is that possible? I think I’ve just seen too many movies and TV shows. There are too many possible scenarios and I just can’t stop thinking about where this incredible drama may begin… in the car? While I’m asleep? Walking down the stairs at work? In the middle of church service? At Erin’s graduation?!?! The possibilities are endless. Too endless for my sanity, I’m afraid. I can’t get it out of my head.
TEN: Seven pounds, nine ounces. This little chunky monkey has put on almost 2 pounds in 2.5 weeks! Granted, they say that the ultrasound measurements tend toward the high side, but still—if she keeps cooking, we’re looking at a sizable little baby! Not to mention a flexible one. Miss Violet had both her hands AND her feet in her face today during the ultrasound. I can’t even imagine how she must be folded up in there to have her toes on her forehead… but she did! I wonder how she’ll sleep when she comes out.
NINE: Todd and I talked before bed about how crazy it is that we’re going to be parents. That we’re going to have a little baby in our house that we have to keep alive by ourselves. I’m already praying about her first few days of life. This is going to be a crazy ride. But I think I’m definitely reaching the point of being ready.
EIGHT: I couldn’t sleep last night. And I woke up this morning compelled to pack at least part of our hospital bag before work. I had some kind of light daydream about going into labor at Erin's graduation and having to drive from IL back to MO and getting pulled over and having contractions in the car and the policeman having to give us an escort all the way to Mercy. Ha! With each passing day, I'm readier and readier to snuggle this girl. Come on when you're ready, sugarplum!
But please try to wait till we're back from IL and graduation tomorrow...
SEVEN: We made it through graduation! The stands were packed and it wasn’t exactly comfortable sitting in those bleachers for 2 hours…but we made it! Thank God for the Drury’s letting me borrow one of their stadium seats. That helped a lot.
Just one week to go, little miss. The hospital bag and your diaper bag are officially in the car. I can hardly believe it.
SIX: Hooo boy. I’m back to being a little bit freaked out.
Enough that I couldn’t get to sleep until 12:30 last night, thinking about induction and IV ports and epidural needles. :( Don't get me wrong, I'm still getting one. I feel like Mudear would encourage it. She would look at me crazy for trying to refuse any kind of help. She would say that yes, women are strong, but that epidurals are grace from God in the midst of our curse-- and I’m liable to believe her. I know it will be okay. But I’m just still a little nervous. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want Violet to stay in there. But I just—feel like this otherworldly, superheroic part of me is going to have to emerge and take over in order for me to get this little girl into the world.
I finished the art wall in the nursery last night. That room is done, for all intent and purposes. Ready and waiting. Just like us.
FIVE: Little girl, I don’t want to rush you or anything, if you’re not ready… but I’m baking you some cookies this week. They are ginger cookies with cayenne pepper in them and they’re supposed to persuade you to come out. :) We’ll see if you budge. You don’t seem to be easily swayed by anything at this point… but if you’re anything like your mama and your grandpa, a little sugary goodness might change your mind. I can’t wait to see you!
FOUR: These freakin Braxton Hicks contractions are seizing me up constantly. I'm sure I'll change my tune in a few days and be wishing for them over real contractions, but man-- they are distracting. I also started seeking labor inducing advice from facebook friends. My favorites include, "Get all Song of Solomon", do hip circles on a birthing ball and a recipe for ginger cayenne "break your water" cookies! I'm totally going to make them. I mean, why not?! It's time to come out, little girl. I have to tell Dr. Alten my induction date tomorrow, but I do NOT want you in there that long. It's going to be a hip circling, cookie nibbling weekend at the Genteman house.
THREE: I've been griping a little about Braxton Hicks. Then the other day, I got all bold on facebook and I'm like, "Okay, bring me spicy food and give me crazy recipes and let's have all the sex!" to try and induce labor... But just now, as I finished my cereal (working from home today!), I got this wave of crampy pain. It felt very much like what I would imagine 1/4 of a contraction feels like. It was NOT cool. It was not fun in any way shape or form. It was also extremely mild, but at this stage in the game-- no joke. All of a sudden, I felt like the Lord was saying, "Really? You bought those ingredients for those cookies like you want this baby to come out-- are you ready right now?"
Ummm.... no. I can't confidently say that I am.
I mean-- yes. I am. But... oh Jesus, Lord help me. This is going to get crazy. REAL quick.
TWO: I've been trying to compare this whole process to preparing for a band competition or a football game or a stage play. Tons of prep work and anticipation for a relatively short amount of show, in the grand scheme. Nine months of waiting and carrying and praying, then the 8-12 hours of serious pain and discomfort I've been fearing/psyching myself out about-- and then it's over! (And apparently when you look at that baby you don't remember any of it.) And like my friend Missy said, you have a really awesome souvenir. :) Not just, a memory of a performance-- you have a person in your arms and you can say "Wow! Look what I did!"
ONE: I don't know how to do this. I just have no idea. I think the most frightening part is that (praise the Lord) I haven't spent much time in hospitals or on medication or around doctors. This will be the most poked and drugged and hooked up to monitors I have ever been in my life. I don't know how to deal with that.
Todd keeps telling me its going to be fine. That he's going to be there and that I was built to do this and all of that... and it's true and I believe it. But really? There is no prep for this. And there is really nothing else to occupy my mind.
My due date begins in 4 hours. Jon Foreman is lookin at you, kid.
"Everybody's watching you now...
Everybody waits for you now...
What happens next... what happens next...
I dare you to move..."
DUE DATE
I felt nothing all day. I ate well and answered lots of concerned or curious texts and phone calls. I went to the store, alphabetized all the books in the living room, even swept out the garage for awhile. But no signs of contractions.
I ate beef and broccoli for dinner around 8pm. It was really good but I couldn't really get comfy afterwards. I thought I had gas or something... By 10:30pm, I thought it might be something else... After all it is my due date and I'd eaten quite a few of those hot cookies. When we finally opted to start timing my "gas pains", they were just over 7 mins apart.
What?
Todd went to go move the trailer from church parking lot. I packed, distracted and not sure how to feel. When he got home we timed them again-- sixish minutes.
I called the emergency after-hours line. The doc on call told me to wait till contractions were 5 mins apart for an hour, till the pain moved into my whole uterus. He said I should try to sleep.
So I did. But I couldn't. It's 2:19AM And now I'm sitting in our glider, rocking through contractions that are sporadic in intensity, but have been roughly every 5 minutes for 1/2 an hour.
It's all happening. Later today, we may very well have a baby.