Snowpocalypse.

I've never been to a third world country. I've heard stories though. About Americans arriving and riding in little rickeshaws through shantytowns and seeing all kinds of unusual, disturbing, unfamiliar things that make them appreciate how good they have it back home.

I'm not comparing Missouri to a third world country. And I'm not pretending that 10-12 inches of snow is the end of the world. I know there are people just a few hours North of me who would totally make fun of everything I'm about to say, but I'm still going to say it. I also completely understand that I'm being overly dramatic about this, but the Texas-flavored part of my brain got traumatized this morning and I need to talk about it.

A fraction of that "entering a third world country" feeling is exactly what I felt during my snowy commute to work this morning. When I got in the car? It was fine. My husband had cleared most of the snow from my little Honda and I navigated our never-plowed, snow covered street with relative ease, eventually coming to a plowed, more well-traveled street. It was mushy and dirty and lumpy, but navigable (I have used that word so many times this week. I hope it's real). I made it through some local traffic onto the highway, where I watched the car in front of me slide all over the entrance ramp. I followed suit in a less willy-nilly fashion, gripping my steering wheel.

I made it on to the fairly empty highway, managed to locate some lane-defining lines under the slush-laden road and began my usually 25 minute journey to CTA. The drive was uneventful for the first 5 minutes on the highway. But then. THEN.

Y'all.

It was horrible. I've never been so untrusting of other drivers in my life. No one knew where the lanes were. Everyone was just following ruts in the road. Cars were ambling down the highway in snow-covered packs, moving the way confused elephants would if they were forced to travel a long distance over arctic tundra. Top speed on my commute this morning? 25mph. With snow blustering through the air the entire time.

There were cars stranded, stopped in the middle of the highway. People wandering around on the shoulder, talking on phones. Police cars with lights flashing, not indicating where in the world they were trying to get to or who they intended to help. Lines forming at exit ramps, waiting on snow plows to clear the impossibly dangerous exits. Cars going nowhere, spinning their wheels in snowdrifts that were once entrance ramps. People with 4 wheel drive, flying like slippery idiots past the rest of us, slinging sludgy ice all over the place. Trucks pulling off the road to help nudge people from the snowdrifty quicksand of the entrance ramps. Tires spinning and spinning, just CAKED with snow. People trying to push their cars back onto the road, people sitting in their stalled cars on their phones, freaking out. I even drove past a car that was stopped in the middle of an intersection with the front tire hanging halfway off the rim. I have no idea what happened to that dude.

Part of me wanted to stop and try to help, but the majority of me was just shocked and terrified and could not even conceive of stopping my car until I was safe in the CTA parking lot. Maybe if I was a dude with a truck and nowhere to be... but I just couldn't. It took me an hour and 15 minutes to get to work. And when I arrived, I released a breath I did not realize I'd been holding.

You have to understand; possessing a mind that was programmed largely in Texas, I don't understand how the world continues to operate on a real-life schedule when there is that much snow happening. In Texas, school gets closed for like, an inch of snow. Sometimes less. Sometimes school gets closed just for slushy ice. You stay in your house. You scrape the accumulation off the car and into a small snowman, you put a snowball in the freezer, and that's it! There is no manuevering through the madness! There is no going to work!

At least there wasn't for me.

I'm not saying I can't adapt to this, I'm just saying it hasn't happened yet. Fortunately, my husband is not freaked out by any of this and has given me pointers on snow driving. I follow his advice expressly.

But I cannot even pretend to believe that I enjoy this aspect of life in the midwest.

It's 4 o'clock now and the sun is shining and the snow has finally stopped falling, but it is absolutely everywhere and it's time for me to go home. I can already hear two sirens.

As Mudear would say, "Oooo, Lord, I will come to thee."

Pray for me, y'all.

Back to December

I think the reason why this song is my favorite on Taylor Swift’s latest album is because it’s the closest thing to a real-life musical I’ve ever aurally witnessed.

In movies and musicals alike, there’s always a scene (or that wish for a scene) with an apology/declaration of love; a chance to say the things you should have said and still would say if only you had the person there in front of you one last time… the monologue that comes out when a character is lucky enough to get a second chance to say how they really feel or say they’re sorry. Everyone just hopes for those kinds of opportunities in real life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in a car and said, “If I could just sing/play this song to/for _____, I totally would.” You know you have too. And then, if you’re in high school, you call the radio station and request that the song be dedicated to a person who is more than likely not listening. If you’re grown, you just make an iTunes playlist and torture yourself with it.

Anyway--the best thing about “Back to December”? Is that that moment actually happens. And if you bought the record, you get to be part of it. Weird, but amazing.

The song lyrics immediately fill your head with a film-worthy montage of images. And you can pretend it’s fake because the people involved are celebrities. Granted, the boy in the song has a second life as a werewolf and the girl singing has a roomful of music awards and is on the cover of EVERY magazine. But the bottom line is that the content of the song is true and actually happened to real people. A 19 year old girl wrote an apologetic song for her ex-boyfriend and it got played on the radio and he heard it. So did a million other people, but that’s beside the point. She talks about specific moments in a real relationship—which is not uncommon for songwriters and their songs—but in this case, you actually know exactly who the people are. And if you can get past the fact that they’re famous and focus on the fact that they’re normal kids—its pretty incredible to listen to, even if it does feel the slightest bit voyeuristic. (But between facebook and reality tv, that feeling of voyeurism is next to normal and barely makes us flinch anymore.)

But, all that to say—flinch! Listen to some extremely personal songwriting, get caught up in it for a moment and let yourself sigh and secretly hope for a moment that someday Taylor & Taylor might get back together.

I did. :)

p.s. I'd post the video, but I don't like the boy who's in it. He isn't even tan. So just listen to the song, don't watch the video.

Say The Words

Even though stories that start with reluctant romance are my favorite-- they are exhausting me right now. I feel like romantic angst and tension is ALL around me as of late (in real life and in the stories I'm immersed in)... and from a story-lover's perspective, I really do enjoy it to some degree...

But man, can somebody just send me a montage of people owning the moment? Of both people saying I love you and then kissing and getting married and living happily ever after and staying married until they die-- of old age-- like in a country song?!

I need to see some happy endings. This kind of crap is what drove me to write fanfiction.

I mean... it's not crap. Not at all. God only knows who I'd be without angsty romance...

But I'm overloaded lately and it's bothering me.

Come on. In the spirit of the new blog... show me something less tragic.

The Girl Who Was On Fire

My second resolution is off to a good start; I finished The Hunger Games today. After we hosted a volunteer training session for a new crop of Morning Reading literacy program volunteers in our living room, my husband granted me the pleasure of indulging in my book for the majority of the day while he sat beside me and watched movies on Netflix. (Well... a movie and some youtube videos) Stopping just momentarily to chitchat with a friend, eat a fried egg sandwich and read a semi-controversial blog post, I blew through it in an afternoon. I'm hooked.

I've made my way through some oppressive fare lately. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry was really well-written and featured both racial oppression and kids battling that injustice. After that, I made my way through the dystopian melodrama of The Handmaid's Tale. It kept building and and building and thought something would pan out-- but then it left me hanging. Utterly unsatisfied. I pushed through till the end and felt cheated.

But. Not so with The Hunger Games. Somehow combining the theme of injustice to children with a dystopian society made for an even more compelling read. It was slightly gruesome and painful at times, but great character & relationship development and riveting internal battles that rivaled the gripping external ones.

When I finished the book, I went into the kitchen to marinate some steaks for lunch tomorrow. But they weren't store steaks, they were butcher steaks, so they were crudely wrapped and when unthawed, rather bloody. It was kinda gross. At any other time, I might have left the meat on the cutting board and asked Todd to come prepare it, but I quickly caught myself thinking, "This animal is already cleaned and butchered. I didn't have to shoot it or field dress it or eat it raw, and no one is trying to kill me. This is NOT a big deal." And I proceeded to cover it in seasoned salt and pepper and worcestershire sauce and A1, rub it all in and stick it in a bowl in the fridge.

I'm not planning to start Catching Fire till Monday... but we'll see what happens tomorrow. :)

2011 To Do List

I know these are dangerous, but I had to write it somewhere... and I like a challenge. :)

1. Re-read Mere Christianity. It's been a couple of years and it's my favorite. It's just time.

2. Read 19 other books. That's less than 2 a month. I started the Hunger Games trilogy today, I'm off to a good start.

3. Make contact with the word of God daily. This one is lofty, but essential. I have the cd's to listen to on my commute, I got a new ESV bible for Christmas, I have a small group and church once a week-- I really have no excuse and I need this. More than anything else. I'm tired of being so undisciplined in this area. My life is never going to calm down, I've got to learn where to fit this in. I've got to make it a priority.

4. Express thanks. Part of Todd's salary includes financial support that we raise throughout the year. We are SO grateful when people choose to partner with us to support August Gate and I want to make a concentrated effort to sincerely and promptly express gratitude when we receive support of any kind.

5. Make guwumpki and invite Tushka & Jeffrey over for dinner. I'm 1/2 Polish, I've eaten it my whole life and realized today I've never made it. It must be done. And who better to critique me than my Polish friends?

6. Memorize (at least part of) the book of Ecclesiastes. Todd is currently memorizing Phillipians using this technique by Tim Keller. I know I could pick a shorter book to start with (and I might), but my reason for choosing to memorize Ecclesiastes is two-fold; Hiding the Truth in my heart AND paying homage to one of my favorite fiction books at the same time.

"Walk carefully. Guard your health. If anything should happen to Harris, you are the Book of Ecclesiastes."
- Granger, to Montag in Fahrenheit 451

7. Finish story arcs one and two. Finish them. Completely. This is a secret-ish project, you'll know more WHEN it's finished. But trust me, it's really cool.

8. Get Gotham certified in Schutzhund 1... or at least through the competition in March.
Todd & Mohammed (dog trainer we met at the park) have been working with Gotham on obedience and protection training for weeks now. He loves it. I'll post a video soon.

9. Cook a never before attempted vegetarian meal and invite my 3 veggie girlfriends over to enjoy it. I love meat. I have to talk myself into eating most vegetables. But I'd like to learn how to make vegetables sassy and able to stand on their own-- even if only this one time. :)

10. Be the best Marketing Coordinator Design Group has ever seen. Relatively easy, since they've never had one before. Technically this is all still hypothetical, since they still have to "officially make me an offer", but we're supposed to be making things official this week or next. I'll let you know.

December Disconnect

So this weekend, one of our friends found out that his brother made a deal with some unsavory dudes and is running a chop shop in his garage in order to pay for the impending birth of he and his wife's first child.

Another friend of ours had a tragedy in the family... and it was heartbreaking, but the tragedy served as the impetus for this person getting away from a small town and finally doing something of consequence.

And yet another friend finally got over his ex and asked this really cute girl out on a date.

At least that's what it feels like.

The truth is that August Gate small groups have been on hiatus for 3 weeks due to the holidays. And during that time, Todd and I have gotten absolutely hooked on Friday Night Lights.

At different points throughout December, all the people we see at least once a week have gone out of town for vacation or to visit family. The two friends we always give rides to got a car for Christmas-- which is great, except now we don't see them as much! And last Sunday, we didn't have church at all because AG is so young that most of our members still travel home for Christmas. I'm also in the middle of my 2nd 4-day weekend in a row-- which is weird, but really nice, since the last 3 weeks of 2010 were a blur of activity and parties/visits/texts/phone calls. All that to say, it's been at least three weeks since we've had schedule normality and consistent interaction with the people whom with we do life.

But during this time, Todd and I have also really been missing our friends, feeling a little disconnected AND being lazy on the couch when time allows... and subsequently, have barrelled through 2.5 seasons of life with the Dillon Panthers. I mean, in the past few weeks, there have been multiple episodes watched each day/night, usually packed with drama. We powered through the lull in season 3 and were so relieved when it got good again. And we couldn't help but laugh last night as we went to bed (around 1:30am, after watching like 4 episodes of Season 4) that it felt like we were trying to bond with these fake people because a lot of our friends are currently out of pocket.

"We should write a blog about it," he said. "About what happens when you get apart from community... how you get lazy and try to connect with other unfulfilling things to fill the void." I thought it was funny and then we fought for a few minutes about who would write it. :)

Jesus set the example for doing life in community. He understood that the Father did not create us to figure out life all alone; He taught us to seek each other out, to do ministry as a team and to love each other constantly. Jesus spent all of his years in ministry surrounded by friends and they experienced all kinds of tragedies and miracles together.

Todd and I are incredibly blessed to have a core of solid, godly people who love us and care about what's going on in our lives and careers and marriage. I'm also so grateful for the women in my life who have held me accountable and encouraged me throughout the years-- "God only knows what I'd be without you..." :) I want to spend the rest of my life continuing to be a part of community in that way.

So I guess, all that to say... keep an open relationship with Tim Riggins (or Jack Shepard... Or Don Draper... or whoever), thank God for your true, flesh and blood friendships and don't neglect to make time and space in your schedule for the people who make your every day life more bearable.

After all, those epic friendships are the stuff all the greatest stories are made of.

"Texas forever?"
"Texas forever."

Boo.

I'm not even going to apologize.

What kind of person calls herself a writer and doesn't update her blog for 4 months?

Me, that's who.

This fall & winter, I've sacrificed some writing time to hang out with real people. And as tough a tradeoff as that occasionally is, it's always worth it. Real life has to trump e-life, you know? And I've still been writing, just not here. I even wrote a couple of bloggy blurbs that I never posted. Maybe I'll still post them.

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be about me apologizing for my impromptu hiatus.

If you haven't noticed (or you're on google reader), I've changed the title/design of this site. Here's why.

When spelling my name out for people, I've gotten into a habit of saying "Juliette-- with two T's and an E. It's less tragic that way." People tend to chuckle, and they don't forget how to spell my name either.

But lately, the more I think about it, the more I want to intentionally live that life. I want to stay married to Todd for a lifetime. I want to have the courage to share the truth of the Gospel with boldness. I want to make time to embrace people and their messiness. I want to have and adopt sweet babies, teach them about Jesus and pray that they grow up into brave, compassionate people. I want to write stories that emphasize redemption and healing. I want to be known for the things I did differently. I want to maintain a higher standard and not apologize for it.

I want to live a life less tragic.

So that's what this year is about. Maybe I'll find time to write about it on this blog.

But if I don't, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. For once.